Top 5 Ways to Avoid Creepy Alumns over Carnival
- DO NOT under any circumstances eat any of your meals in town, unless you want to dine alongside alums enjoying legality in Hanover with $2 margaritas or karaoke at Salt Hill Pub.
- If you see beer other than Keystone in the basement, don't touch it. Alums will likely bring their own "nice" (read: Bud Light) beer to feel like they've matured since college.
- If anyone refers to you as the final year in their "Dartmouth Decade," run, as fast as you can, in the opposite direction.
- Pay attention to tell-tale signs in their clothing, like expensive leather shoes in frat basements or, more obviously, wedding rings.
- Just give in and listen to their stories. Some of them are guaranteed to be interesting and sooner or later they drift into an EBA's-induced sleep coma mid-sentence.