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The Dartmouth
April 2, 2026
The Dartmouth

The Resume

Pendleton Clayton Baxley XII Dartmouth College Hanover, N.H.6969 Hinman Pendleton.C.Baxley.XII.14@Dartmouth.Edu (678) 999-8212

Education and Training

Dartmouth College, anticipated bachelor of arts in economics, minor in public policy: September 2010 June 2014-Coursework includes: Econ 26, astronomy, art history, Zumba-Computer: Microsoft Office, Stata (actually can't remember much), video editing (basically just iMovie)-Languages: English (native), Spanish (can't remember much either)

Experience

Citigroup, personal assistant to the CFO: March June 2012-Spent hours ensuring each department received correct coffee orders-Once trusted to edit important documents and ended up irreparably damaging them with copious coffee stains, consequently may have contributed to the recession-Honed golf and tennis skills

Ivy Insiders, CEO of my branch (but really I was an instructor): June August 2011-Taught spoiled middle school brats grammar-Set up client base by snooping around my former high school, slathered head to toe in Dartmouth regalia

Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center, research sssistant: September 2010 March 2011-Watched cells grow and die-Shadowed many different people and was forbidden to touch the shiny, expensive equipment-Formerly contemplated a career in medicine until I dropped Chemistry 5

Leadership and Activities

M@sters Champion: Date redacted-Not your average day of golf

University Hill Summer Day Camps, camp counselor: June August 2009-Mentored and supervised groups of children aged 6-12-Surprisingly, had an amazing time and a great experience-But I'm never going to work with kids there's no money, no prestige