Yesterday I sat through a riveting seminar given by Career Services about how to write a cover letter. They don't know, but at least my time wasn't completely wasted because it gave me a stellar idea for this article. Just as I was happily settled in dreamland, the shmuck at the front of Carson L01 began yammering something about decoding job descriptions. Apparently this penetrated deep into my psyche because Luke Perry flashed me a peace sign as he exited my bedroom and the word DECODE miraculously appeared in huge spray-painted letters all over my walls. I awoke, relieved that my landlord would not be keeping my security deposit and disappointed that I had not, in fact, just had a feverish handholding session with Mr. Dylan McKay.
My next thought was naturally about rush. (Obviiiii, because like, I'm Greek, and like, its Senior Fall and Drawing I is my hardest class so I think about rush like 25/7!!!) Mathematician that I am, Decode + Rush = Mirror Article!
Instead of repeating the same old lines about Kappas and carrots and cocaine and KDEs and f*cking and Heorots and ice cream or however that rhyme goes, I've decided to let the houses speak for themselves. Each house has sent in a short blurb for your (inner English major's) reading pleasure about why you should join their house. Decode away.
AP: "First, the ladies of Alpha Phi are extraordinarily enthused about recruitment -- we cannot wait for the opportunity to continue to expand our membership and share our experiences. As Alpha Phi is a new and innovative chapter on campus, we are looking for women who are passionate, polished and dedicated. Over the past three terms, we've fostered a close-knit sisterhood and created strong leaders among our members. We want our new members to have a sense of ownership in our chapter and have ample opportunity to step directly into leadership positions."
AT: "Alpha Theta is an organization committed to bettering the community that it resides within, while simultaneously providing a co-educational, social and academic atmosphere for its members. We prove that you can provide an alternative to the Greek system while residing inside of it. Our interests are as diverse as our members, and our members are as diverse as our events. We have open-to-campus Movie Nights, non-alcoholic snack-filled "Mellows," and Tails almost every week. Once a term, we host a Faculty Dinner as well as DartCon, Dartmouth's only gaming convention. And contrary to last week's "Mirror," we play pong with liquids other than water, and both our men and our women will destroy anyone brave enough to venture off of Webster Avenue."
AZD: "The Theta Psi chapter of Alpha Xi Delta is located at 6 Webster Avenue, at the cross-roads between academia (next to Rocky-Silsby) and socializing (at the beginning of Webster Avenue). Whether it is as a result of our location or just a coincidence, we are a house of classy women who take to heart the Dartmouth motto of "work hard, play hard." Our hard work contributes to a very dynamic sisterhood: we donate our time to various service projects mostly focusing on children; we support and celebrate each other in our academic endeavors; we work together to develop into strong leaders who are active all around campus. However, we consider the other half of our efforts just as integral in creating our fun sisterhood: together, we barbeque, venture into basements, have movie nights, take Panera trips, swim in the river, watch 'Grey's Anatomy,' and go apple picking."
BG: "As we do to all inquiries from The D, Bones Gate responds, 'No comment.'"
DDD: "At Tridelt we wear pearls/ribbons/Reeboks. We bake a variety of goods. We'll go meet your mom on Thanksgiving (if you're brave enough to take us...). We knit tea cosies, scarves and pong paddles. We have occasional Southern accents. We sometimes 'do lunch.' We always back 'Girl Power.' We're all good buddies. We're budding world leaders. We suggest you take us seriously, because we're seriously awesome."
EKT: "Why a woman should join Epsilon Kappa Theta is an easy questions to answer. Theta is full of women who are leaders on campus who are respectful of differences between people. We boast one of the strongest and closest sisterhoods and we organize and host a variety of events within our house as well as outside of it. Our physical plant is one of the biggest, cleanest and ... we have a sweet 56-inch TV in the living room. Enough said."
GDX: "Gamma Delt is looking for rushees this term who are enthusiastic, and looking to join a brotherhood of ambitious and fun loving individuals. GDX offers a house with some of the best singles on campus, a great basement, and a renovated brothers' room for lounging. The current GDX brotherhood is comprised primarily of football players, but we encourage all to join who feel they might benefit from the life-long friendships forged within our walls."
KKG: "A Lodge croo member. President of Women in Business. A Yogini, and a NASA astronaut, for God's sake. Can every (or any?) house on campus boast ALL of these as their members?? Kappa Kappa Gamma, the largest house on campus, can, and the list of our amazing and diverse women goes on an on. Whether it's our national ties, our strong philanthropy efforts, our countless sisterhood events, or, yes, the possibility of learning yoga from a yogini, that catches your eye ... KKG can't wait for '09 women to carry on the Kappa tradition!"
KDE: "What makes KDE special is its incredible sisterhood. While we are famous about our open parties and bright basement, most people have no idea that what KDE sisters love most is singing kareoke together in full tackies before opening these parties to the whole campus. The house was started by an incredibly diverse group of women and this diversity remains one of the best things about the house; athletes, academic all-stars, party girls, not-so-ragey girls and phil fanatics are able to come together to create an incredibly inclusive group of women who support each other and make life-long friendships despite being completely different."
Tri-Kap: "Kappa Kappa Kappa, founded in 1842, is one of the oldest Greek houses in the nation and the second oldest at Dartmouth college. Recently named a 'model fraternity,' Tri-Kap is one of the largest and most diverse brotherhoods on campus. There really is no set way to describe Tri-Kap. Its members come from all walks of the Dartmouth community and all bring a variety of interests and ideals to the house. This mix is the heart of the brotherhood. Having received recognition for inclusivity, Tri-Kap strives to provide a welcoming social environment for all Dartmouth students, and will continue to do so for all future classes."
SAE: "The foundation of SAE is its incredibly close-knit brotherhood. SAE is a place to make lifelong friendships, not only in the basement, but through IM sports, cookouts and brotherhood road trips. As the largest national fraternity, SAE offers an extensive network of brothers and unmatched resources. We all strive to live as True Gentlemen and be engaged members of the Dartmouth community."
SD: "Celebrating its 30th anniversary this spring, Sigma Delta (formerly Sigma Kappa) is the oldest sorority in the Ivy League, and the sisterhood prides itself on a longstanding tradition of creating a safe, inclusive place for women. Now a local house, Sigma Delt attracts a diverse group of women active in all sorts of campus activities. It is a laidback house, and earns a ragey reputation due to the weeknight basement scene and a themed, once-a-term open party. When they aren't busy with work, extracurriculars and sports, the sisters can often be found hanging out, whether over a game of pong or while watching 'Grey's Anatomy.'"
SN: "Sig Nu has a laid back attitude where anyone can come and have fun. We have a very diverse background: many brothers become leaders of organizations around campus. As a house, we have a tight and cohesive brotherhood and are very close with our strong alumni base. Our basement usually smells decent, so that's nice."
TDX: "Everyone else plays checkers, we play chess."
XH: "I would say that Heorot is a fraternity based on friendships founded on mutual esteem and dependence. 'Many hands, one heart' as our brothers like to say, because One Man is No Man. Representing a wide variety of students, Heorot unites in a common effort to protest against the shams of aristocracy while maintaining love, honer [sic] and truth. It is this unity in diversity that allows us to steadfastly love one another while achieving growth in character. At Heorot, caring is simple."
