The Dartmouth: Sports are full of great nicknames, like former NBA star Chuck "The Rifleman" Person, 1982 Masters Champion Craig "The Walrus" Stadler and former hockey goalie Georges "The Chicoutimi Cucumber" Vezina. As an athlete, have you encountered any particularly memorable nicknames?
Alana Hanks: Nicknames seem to be one of those unwritten rules of sports. I've definitely encountered a few unique nicknames in my day, but none as fun as the ones on the Dartmouth women's volleyball team. Lets see, we have Dirty, Spanks, Nads (the best is when we cheer for her...Go Nads!), Dino, Chelmo, Sheffdog, Sparky, Renee-nay and a few that continue to be an ongoing debate. My favorite is a certain line-up we have. In order of who's where on the court, it goes: Kai, Spanks, Dirty, Nads.
The D: Friends of mine often come up to me with insightful and complex queries concerning the sport of volleyball. Maybe you can help me out with one oft-asked question: Why spandex?
AH: Well, I'm not so sure about that being an insightful question, but it's definitely complex. Actually, it's so complex that we often find ourselves asking that very same question in the locker room. I'd have to say it has to do something with drawing a strong fan base ... who can resist watching athletic women performing in spandex?
The D: Let's do a little word association. What do you think of when I say the word: "Crunchy"?
AH: Ha Ha. Who put you up to that question? Dirty, was that you? Crunchy is a nickname that my teammates call me, especially when there is a bug or any other insect on the court or in their way that they would like removed. Spiders just don't scare me like they do most people.
The D: Another word association for you: Cottage Cheese and Onions.
AH: CHELMO! Chelsea Morgan and I are conscious savers of the environment. Instead of putting our salad and cottage cheese in separate bowls at "homey P" (Homeplate) and wasting diningware and dish washing water, we combine them into the same bowl. I personally applaud Chelsea for doing so.
The D: Your elder sister Katharine is a star on the Dartmouth basketball team. How much of her success stems from things you've taught her about basketball?
AH: Now we're talking! No one seems to believe me when I say that I taught her everything she knows. Let's just say that she wouldn't be where she is today if it weren't for me allowing her to throw elbows at my face while playing one-on-one in the post in our driveway.
The D: Who is your pick to win this year's World Series?
AH: Sorry to all you baseball fans out there, but personally I find baseball about as exciting to watch as the fungus growing in the dorm showers. But including some suds and good friends could make watching either sport exciting, I guess.
The D: Which member of the volleyball team would win in a WWF-style Royal Rumble brawl?
AH: Wow, thats a tough one. I'd have to say Gorz, just because I'm sure she's seen every episode and would know all the right tricks and moves. But Kai would be a close second, just because I'm sure she could kick the snot out of anyone.
The D: I'm thinking of going hiking soon. Have you personally ever had any particuarly interesting nights in the woods?
AH: If you consider walking in the woods on Halloween night with a full moon and dense fog and having the person walking next to you look over and ask you what you would do if all of a sudden their eyes glared red and fangs sprang from their teeth, then yes, I have had an interesting night or two in the woods.
The D: What is the best part about being a Division I college athlete?
AH: The hordes of guys lined up outside my door every day just wanting to have a chance with a D1 athlete.
The D: Who is the better Australian celebrity and why: Mel Gibson, Kylie Minogue or Heath Ledger?
AH: I'd have to say Mel Gibson because not only is he hot, but he's talented too, and I'm sure most women would agree with me that it's hard to find both in one man.
The D: Sorry, the correct answer was all-around pop culture diva Kylie Minogue. Finally, If you could be any person in the world for a day, who would it be?
AH: My grandma, so I could have wheelchair races down the hall of the nursing home with the other old people, be blunt and not worry about the consequences of what I just said and so my daily activities include, but not limited to, sleeping, eating, napping and pinching cute male nurses' asses.
