About 15 minutes before the Take Back the Night Rally on Monday evening, I was speaking to an affiliated male friend of mine who told me that many members of his house were going to be there. My first instinct was to feel quite suspicious, as I do not usually pair fraternity members with events such as this. But then I checked myself, thinking that I was being petty and stereotypical; that I was imposing my dislike of the Greek system on the individual moral standards of my friends' "brothers;" that just because the system as a whole is sexist and creates an environment where men can feel that oppression is the best thing since baggy pants, I had no right to, as Psi Upsilon has pointed out, place judgement on individuals just because they belong to a house that only collectively uses dick for brains.
However, I should have trusted my gut feeling because my friend went on to explain "I think a lot of frat members are going. Don't tell anyone, but something big is about to happen with the Greeks. Something bad." (What could that be?) "I don't know what it is but we were told by [house leader's name] that we should go to this thing to show our support"
Support? Support for what? His house leader wanted members to "Take Back the Night" to show support for the Greek system, not sexually assaulted women and men. They went to save their own asses, so that when, on Wednesday the news broke and they'd have to scrounge up some defense of the Greek system yet again, they could say, "But we went to the Take Back the Night Rally! Some Greek members even spoke at it! A fraternity member spoke at it! Obviously, we don't condone this kind of behavior."
Sure enough, when I arrived at the Hopkins Center, there were many Greek brothers and sisters there. I knew this not because I am friends with people who are members of single-sex Greek houses, but because they were sporting their house sweatshirts. Among the houses represented were: Chi Heorot, Sigma Alpha Epsilon, Kappa Kappa Gamma, Alpha Delta, Epsilon Kappa Theta, and yes, even some Zeta Psi members showed their support -- of themselves, of the Greek system. It may be true that they were wearing their letters for house pride, to show that their house is a safe place for women, or maybe that's just what they were wearing on Monday. But I'm willing to bet that many of the men who came as a team in their uniforms were there with saving their house as the number one priority, not the safety of women. That goal was secondary or nonexistent. And that makes me sick.
When I asked a friend if he was going to go to the rally, he said no. I asked him why. He said, "Because I don't want to, I guess." After he said that, I was too incredulous to speak. I wanted to shake him. His apathy and inability to stand up for what he thinks is wrong has been plaguing me for years. But now I think I have more respect for him not going for no reason than for others going for the wrong reason.
I am angry. And I am not going to apologize for that. But I am also not saying people's motives have to be entirely pure. I know they rarely are; that's the point of this letter. It just really concerns me that the primary motive for many people at the rally was not to support sexual abuse awareness. In order to allay fears that they were using the march for their own purposes, Greek members should not have worn their letters. That leaves them open to my charge that they cynically exploited the march for their own purposes, whether true or not.
The conversation I had with my friend is proof that my statement is true for at least some people who were at the rally. How many people felt like what I have described, I don't know. That this sentiment was there is a fact. That these adults used a serious topic for their own exoneration and purposes is sad. That they cast a bad light not only on themselves but on the entire system is undeniable.
How self-absorbed are these houses? Do you think the majority of Greek males would have come to the rally if there hadn't been another atrocious Greek incident? Do you think members as individuals would have come on their own? Not wearing their letters? I can't help but judge the houses and the system as a unit, as a collective, as one huge problem. Because hiding behind their letters is the only pathetic way that many of them feel safe. If that is how they choose to present themselves, then that is the only way they should be dealt with.
