To the Editor:
Due to recent events, I have felt frustration at being caught in the middle of several arbitrary definitions, all of which seem to try to define me, and none of which try actually to include me. I am a woman and a member of a coed fraternity. Since I feel like my voice has not been heard, I decided this would be the best venue to express my opinions. And what I feel is not being said is what it is actually like to be in a coed house.
The first thing to know is that we are a fraternity. We have been a fraternity much longer than we have been a coed house. Being Greek means different things to every member of the system. I feel the general campus associates the term Greek with the all-male fraternities and sometimes includes the sororities, depending on what aspect of the system they're discussing, but rarely remembers us. Several of my brothers have been told by non-members that we are not really Greek. Some of us do not care, but this statement offends others. The fact is that we are a selective organization and we are members of the Coed Fraternity Sorority Council. We have some things in common with the single-sex part of the system, more with some houses than others, but I don't think there is any house on this campus that is exactly like another.
The other big assumption that I have heard people make is that because we chose to join a house that includes the opposite sex, there must be something atypical about the gender roles or the sexuality of our brothers. The only things being in a coed house implies about any of us is that we are comfortable enough with the opposite sex to want to spend the majority of our social time in mixed company. Any other decisions are personal ones, and have nothing to do with the house.
I feel the most important reason I joined this house is brotherhood. Our brothers care about each other and bond together in support of one another. We fight, we really hate each other's views sometimes, but this makes us a stronger brotherhood. We put time into supporting our house and a lot of heart into supporting each other. This is important to me. I don't appreciate feeling like a tool of the current college politics. Whatever views our house holds and whatever changes we want to make, they are our decisions because we are the ones who must represent them. I would appreciate it if next time someone wants to say something publicly about the Greek system, they consider the entire system in all its diversity. Please stop sending me emails entitled "To Unaffiliated Women" because I'm not on the role call of any sorority. Next time someone suggests what the coeds should do or what role we should play, please have the courtesy to ask us how we feel about it. And lastly, I would appreciate it if I, because I am a woman, could stop getting emails, condemning fraternities, because frankly ladies, I'm part of one.
