To the Editor:
I applaud Professor Randy-Michael Testa's proposal that the College get "serious about reforming alcohol behavior" and remove fraternities' pong tables, post haste.
Professor Testa may be unaware, however, that some students use dice, certain television shows, and other means to similar ends. The week before last, for example, I walked in on a group of ten shooting vodka for each of Ally McBeal's hallucinations. They were, of course, quite trashed and unwilling, unable, to discuss the more meaningful "post-feminist" telos of the show. One, in fact, threw an empty can at my head after I dressed her down for "brute anti-intellectualism." All refused my offer of productive, reasoned discussion.
I know now that temperence must be our goal, and, even if we must sacrifice ping-pong, dice, cards, video games, television, and, of course, those vulgar plastic cups, our sobriety will be won.
