Let me get right to the point. George W. Bush is going to be elected to the Presidency of the United States of America. The dreadful preliminaries to this even more dreadful event are unfolding as you read this column. Do you want Dubya to be President? I don't.
Oh, who cares anyway? As long as the economy keep chugging along and I can make $50K when I leave here I'd vote for the Coyote. Come to think of it a vote for Wile E. Coyote would be the same as a vote for George W. Bush. They're both twenty-watt bulbs in a reading lamp. What sort of Acme boxes do you suppose have been delivered to the Texas Governor's mansion?
Yes folks, a dismal future awaits thinking Americans when Dubya is finally elected to the highest office of the land, but I can't seem to get too worked up about George's upcoming job switch, horror that it is. I haven't seen his face everywhere, or listened to enough of his vapid speeches to get my back up. Plus it's hard to take a guy seriously who links his official website through www.BushSucks.com.
Let me see. I could rant about Hanover's reactionary town managers cutting down the rope tree. Now there is some heavy handed public policy just begging for a public denunciation. Perhaps the impending removal of the permanent bars and kegerators in the frat houses is something people want to read about, although I am far less fired up about that tragedy than I am the tree removal.
Maybe a stand on one side of the Norwich property rights brouhaha will garner a few more readers and I'll get some mail. That reminds me. I haven't gotten mail about any of the issues I've covered in this space. Wait, that's not true, I did get one blitz from some guy in the Midwest about a previous Bush column. And, he wasn't happy about me disrespecting his boy, but hey, somebody has to do it. We can't have George Dubya thinking he is really qualified to be President.
Now, here is a golden opportunity to insert a few facts about Dubya's dubious record in Texas. But, I'm not going to take the easy shot and lament the fact that Texas ranks among the bottom ten states in education funding, or that it squanders its air and water resources because of the pollution allowed by Dubya's administration. Nope. Not gonna take that road.
Instead, I'll take the high road and also ignore Bush's malapropisms and foolish statements. I'll not reproduce them here. I will reproduce what triggered this column in the first place. I worked on John McCain's ill-fated campaign so, consequently, I'm on Republican mailing lists--lists from which I should be removed if any of them were doing any reading lately--and I got this bit of chilling news from Bush's state campaign folks:
"The Republican National Convention in Philadelphia begins in less than three weeks(this is the really scary part coming next). The 2000 election is crucial and will determine the direction our nation takes for years to come. Critical issues such as social security, education, our military and taxes all hinge on the outcome in November."
YIKES! George Bush is the oil for that hinge?
You've seen through me. I am writing about Bush and his politics, but hey, like I said before somebody has to do it. And who better than someone who would have voted Republican had the only honest candidate from either party not been inundated by a tsunami of corporate money. Work from within, I say.
So, there you have it. Six hundred and ninety-one words about, well I can't put my finger on what this was all about, though we sure covered a lot of ground.
Just for the record, the Stump, Al Gore, is not the lessor of two evils. I'm hoping for a miracle in Philadelphia. Stranger things happen all the time. Let me tell you about Clarence Willard, who could grow six inches taller while he talked to you. Now, Clarence wasn't a Republican, but.
