OK, yes I know. Everyone hates editorials on anything having to do with relationships. Well ok -- I agree with you. Shocked? I hate dating. It SUCKS. I promise I am not going to do an editorial saying how if all women stop wearing bras, then somehow all gender bias will cease. I for one, am very fond of my bra. I don't believe that a nation of women with sore breasts is going to get anywhere fast -- I mean have you ever actually tried to run without a bra? OUCH -- I wouldn't recommend it.
But really and truly, who dates at Dartmouth? Now I heard this as a prospective. My host explicitly told me that if I came here I shouldn't expect to date. EVER.
That wasn't entirely true. I have been on a few dates here. They were actually really fun. I have met most of my guy friends that way. But how many people actually have lasting relationships here? Maybe you know several, but I don't.
The culprit? It is not the lack of attractive people on campus. Maybe the female population is not as fabulous as the male, but the guys really aren't all that special either! It's Dartmouth Dining Services. DDS is the sole reason that people on this campus cannot get serious about one another. Now don't get me wrong -- I love DDS food. I think that it is good, the people are nice, and that they have plenty of options for weird vegetarian people like me. Some of the coolest people I know work there.
But who gets turned on by a piece of pizza and a Coke? Unless I REALLY like someone it is impossible for me to think of him romantically over a veggie burger and pasta at Food Court. Everything about DDS kills a budding romance. Not only do you run into all of your friends and get that "Now who is this and why haven't you told me all about him yet girl" look, but you are bound to run into your ex. Last time I went on a pseudo date at Food Court, the guy that I had literally JUST broken up with walked in. I kind of stared and I think that my date thought I was checking this other guy out. Needless to say, I didn't get asked out again.
It's also super easy to mistake an invite out to Food Court as a friend thing. I mean if you were seriously crazy about someone would you ask him or her to the Hop? The most serious relationship I have been in at Dartmouth began at Food Court. I didn't think that the boy was serious about me until he wizened up and took me on a walk around Occum. The relationship was doomed from the beginning though -- all because of DDS.
I understand if you don't have money to spend. Really, most girls worth dating don't care about that. Just don't take us to a DDS establishment! I mean walks are free, and so is the Hood museum. All girls are suckers for candlelit dinners. Hell, I'll even make the food. But then you would have to deal with tofu.
Now I know that the trustees swear that the frats are killing gender relations at Dartmouth. But the trustees are totally wrong. The frats are fine. We should just have separate boy-girl dining halls. Maybe people do hook up with randoms at frats, but that is just a result of extreme sexual frustration caused by the lack of actual relationships. The truth is that DDS is the bane of the Dartmouth dating scene. Anyway, think about it. I'm going to get some seriously fabulous Hop fries.
