Why do I want to write for the D? It's because I'm an '03 isn't it? Still got that "go get 'em," "take over the world," "participate in activities 'til I drop dead" attitude. At first, I was going to write an article titled, "The Miseducation of an '03" enumerating the experiences and wisdom that I've garnered over the first few weeks of orientation and classes. I had second thoughts because it was too typical of a 'shmen. Is using the word "'shmen" too typical of a 'shmen? Probably.
Anyhow, I present to you the shattered dreams and new nightmares of the beginning of my college life.
An attempt at dj-ing for WDCR is currently in its final and horrific death throes. I still squirm when thinking about it. I never even entered the -- er -- DJ room (don't even know the term) as a DJ. Sure, I went to training sessions and lay in my bed of late nights plotting my takeover of Dartmouth as its purveyor of "blazin' hip hop". But I never made it past the initial testing. It's not my fault though. Really. The two other chicks I was supposed to dj with no pun intended chickened out. Damn them for causing the downfall of all my life's yearnings.
Swim team. Did you know that the season already started? That people get recruited? That you have to be able to swim well? What's up with that?
And then I thought, maybe I can work at the Gap and get 50 percent off six purchases every month. And then I found out that in order to get 50 percent off six purchases every month, I have to work a minimum of 15 hours a week. And then I thought um no.
Swing Dance is not as cool as I had thought it would be. No offense to the 200 organizations that bring swing to the campus.
Crew coxswains (pronounced "koksen", NOT "kokswayn" as I had previously thought) have the most fun. They get to direct excessive profanity at the people doing the actual work while taking in the (intermittent) sun and (perpetual) wind, all in the name of sportsmanship. But then Melissa, an experienced coxswain, told me that they're responsible for steering and the condition of the boat (canoe?). Responsibility? I didn't come to college for responsibility.
Then why did I come here? For cable, of course. Which, ironically enough, and much to my dismay, is sadly lacking. I want to experience life vicariously through the incredibly accurate "Real World." I want my MTV!
I've also realized that Dartmouth can be easily compartmentalized. There are those who wear Abercrombie and those who don't. Those who worship Dave Matthews and those who don't. Those who sing a cappella and those who, you've guessed it -- don't. Mac owners and PC owners. DOC tripees and non-DOC tripees. There are blondes and the non-blondes (or is it un-blondes?). Actually, there are blondes and those who merely aspire to the perfection that is blondeness. Oh yeah, those who drink and those who -- just kidding -- everybody drinks (contrary to what The Man wants you to think). Just because The Man says that not everybody drinks doesn't mean you can't. Never fear, don't let other people tell you what to do drink if you like, it's your God-given right.
I'd like to think that I've come here with the world at my fingertips. I'd also like to think that I'm the next Dalai Lama. Certain things are just not meant to be.
And so, I embark on the journey of my adult life compromising my youthful aspirations, deprived of all that has sustained me since my preadolescence, and with no greater desire than to be allowed into a frat when Friday rolls around. Underachievers unite. I LOVE DARTMOUTH!
Really, I do.