Technology scares me to death. Once a proud neo-Luddite, I have spent the past few years arguing passionately, complaining publicly and writing dramatically about the harms of new technological advances. I refused to use e-mail and agreed to "surf the Net" only when forced by class requirements.
Though many thought my ideas ignorant and radical, I still stand by most of them. Moving too quickly along that information super-highway and blindly accepting new creations will surely lead to problems, and I certainly fear the loss of human contact, especially in education.
Thus, my recent praise of e-mail has come as a complete surprise and has forced me into moderation.
Like the Amish (my former technological heroes), we can choose our technology selectively, picking only that which we understand and will improve our lives. They may draw the line with zippers, but I think I've learned to let e-mail slide.
Excessive e-mailing to friends on campus still seems a little strange to me, a little impersonal considering phone calls and personal visits are so easy and convenient. However, e-mailing people from home has added a new dimension to many relationships.
Most obviously, it allows friends to keep in touch with each other easily. Phone calls take time and money, and visits are usually impossible, so e-mail is kind of the last resort. But it's more than that; it even has some benefits.
The delayed response factor, which used to make me insane by preventing follow-up questions to interesting statements, actually has some hidden, but positive, impact.
Over e-mail, there are no interruptions, allowing stories to be told in their entirety, a rare event in most friendships. And "listening" to friends' stories is more important now than ever. Reading summaries of their days would have been utterly boring at home, but here each message is comparable to a chapter from a gripping novel -- more insight into how those favorite characters are evolving and feeling.
As another gift of e-mail, feelings now seem much more prevalent in my relationships. I know I have an easier time expressing what I'm really thinking in writing; among other things, shyness and self-consciousness have a way of disappearing in the written word.
My friends must react similarly, because I've learned more new things about them in these last few weeks than in the last year. Their messages are more stream-of-consciousness than phone and live conversations, revealing true thoughts on issues most important to them.
Even snail mail loses to e-mail in this category, as real letters are almost too planned and thoughtout to be as truthful. They still remain most exciting to receive and often most memorable, but they don't enhance friendships as greatly.
Perhaps most importantly, e-mail shows us new sides of the people we love. Friends and family come off differently in every communication form, and e-mail adds another dimension to that.
I've rarely communicated with either of my parents in writing before moving away, so it seemed so weird at first to read their messages. But within days, their "good morning" messages became my favorites. I've learned to relate to my parents on a whole new level: no yelling, bickering or whining over e-mail, just cute tidbits of information on life.
While I give e-mail a lot of credit for helping to maintain, and perhaps improve, relationships, I don't think it should be used exclusively. Without phone calls every once in a while, friendships start to feel creepy and a little lacking.
While e-mail may be capable of transporting feeling, it still can't carry emotion. Sarcasm, humor and sadness all get lost somewhere in those confusing computer wires. Like all new technologies, e-mail should be integrated into our lives but shouldn't replace those parts of life we still cherish.
I tried an instant messenger thing once at the request of a friend, but midway through the conversation I threw the program in the trash and called her. Some technologies, I still think, go too far and are more unpleasant and impersonal than helpful.
For now, at least, I have added e-mail to the acceptable list. I still highly disapprove of those annoying, cyber-y smiley faces often embedded in e-mails, but that's a whole different problem.