Upon reading the news that Ludwig Plutonium, the famous campus revisionist scientist, has been suspended from Dartmouth's computer network, I came to the conclusion that the College needs to alter its statement on "Freedom of Expression and Dissent" so that everyone in the College community can understand what it really means.
Readers of this paper probably recognize the name, Ludwig Plutonium, from both his classified and full page advertisements.
For years Ludwig has been trying to hammer home his wacky theory that the structure of the plutonium atom is the secret to the structure of the universe.
I suppose I might suggest the same thing if my name were Plutonium.
Others might not recognize the name, but certainly know the man.
He is marked by a distinctive fashion sense which frequently features orange neon,although this summer he has opted for a more earthy green look.
Ludwig, who works for the Hanover Inn, uses his status as a College employee to research his theories in Baker Library.
It seems that he also uses that same status to spread his message over computer bulletin boards.
Ludwig got in trouble with the College when he posted a message on a bulletin board which referred to the New York Times as the "Jew York Times."
Back home the various nuts are content to open their trench coats in front of little girls. But Ludwig has gotten himself tangled in an issue that draws us to question the College's commitment to free speech.
Does posting a message on an electronic bulletin board constitute "speech?" The rest of the country may not realize it yet, but at Dartmouth, where computing abounds, the answer is obviously "Yes!"
In the days of our Founding Fathers, when newspapers and pamphlets were the leading edge of public communication technology, Thomas Paine's "Common Sense" was free speech, James Madison, Alexander Hamilton and John Jay's "Federalist Papers" were free speech.
In this day and on this campus computer bulletin boards have become a forum for public discussion. Everyone on this campus has access. On these boards issues and topics are discussed, dissent is registered.
And while Ludwig's opinions may be wacky or anti-Semitic his posting of them certainly constitutes an act of free speech.
Meanwhile, the College's statement on the "Freedom of Expression and Dissent," found on page iii of the Student Handbook, states that the only reasons the College might interfere with one's attempts to express his opinion are if such speech denies the right of free speech to another individual, force or threat of force is used or if the orderly processes of the College are deliberately obstructed.
Ludwig did none of these things.
This is not the first time that the College has failed to live up to its own standards.
The College refused to protect the rights of The Dartmouth Review when several students collected the papers before they could be read.
These papers were distributed in the exact same fashion as Spare Rib, The Beacon and the Bug.
Clearly the process of leaving papers in front of student dorm rooms has been established as a genuine means for the expression of free speech on this campus.
However, the College has no legal obligation to uphold free speech. It is a private institution. We give up that right when we agree to attend Dartmouth.
I simply wish that the College would acknowledge that fact in the Student Handbook.
I suggest a revised Student Handbook, the last line of which would read, "Dartmouth, however, is a private institution. We can and will do whatever the hell we want."
