Alas, it is Friday and we have a new tantalizing topic of discussion on campus.
Recently, rumors have led many to believe that there is a diabolical threat to the integrity of this college and the very fabric of our world. What could this be, you ask? Well, this evil plot comes not from any obvious source, such as patriotism or fraternities, but much worse yet.
Snapple. Yes, rumors have surfaced that the seemingly harmless drink supports pro-life causes. The horror! Thank the heavens that someone finally has made it possible for all of us to see the light. For, what Snapple drinker could live with himself if he knew about this travesty?
Luckily, we have many conscientious people here at Dartmouth who will start the ball rolling on the boycott of the evil drink company. Just think--if those people didn't exist, who would hold up the signs? Who would be there to comment in the newspaper? Who would be the one to put Snapple in its place?
OK--that's enough sarcasm. Now let's take a look at this logically (something which those who propagated all of this cannot do).
First of all, this is a rumor. To start a boycott and cause a ruckus because of a simple rumor is ridiculous. Snapple's denial of all such allegations is well established (just read The D from Tuesday). So, from this, we can conclude that the truth means nothing to our boycotters.
Second, even if it is true that Snapple supports pro-life causes, so what? We're not necessarily talking about Operation Rescue here. There are many "pro-life" groups whose main purpose is to console women with unwanted pregnancies and try to talk them into a different alternative than abortion. Is that so terrible that we must spend so much time worrying about the various causes Snapple may or may not support?
In addition, there has been a connection made between these allegations and the fact that Rush Limbaugh frequently plugs Snapple on his show. Regardless of the inferences which could be drawn here, there is one important fact to remember. Rush Limbaugh is the most listened to radio talk show host in America. It is simply smart advertising to have your product brought to the attention of his huge audience.
In my opinion, this all boils down to one piercing fact. It is a sad commentary on Dartmouth if we spend so much time worrying about the political consequences of what we drink with our dinner.
It seems rather stupid to obscure the real battles which we still have to fight on campus because of something as minor as a bottle of iced tea.
The resounding message I get from this is that certain people here on campus have nothing better to do with their lives than start a random boycott because of some allegations. That's pretty pathetic.
