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The Dartmouth
May 24, 2024 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth
Cole Entress
The Setonian
Mirror

THE CAPTAIN'S LOG:The self-call as a speech act

With the exception of such classic maneuvers as challenging one's nemesis to a duel, perhaps no social weapon has gained quite as much currency on campus as accusing someone of having just performed a "self-call." Though it is perhaps now past its prime -- like the Eminem of pejorative exclamations -- I think that the phenomenon of self-calling, and more importantly the phenomenon of calling out self-calls, nonetheless deserves a turn under the dissection glass. Naturally, defining the self-call gets priority. Self-call (n.) -- 1.

The Setonian
Mirror

The Captain's Log: Getting Along in the Stacks

I would like to be "study buddies" with everyone on campus. Of course, I don't mean that I want to take you all out of a bottle I stole from some poor kid with Attention Deficit Disorder, chop you to powder in a third floor Berry library bathroom and snort you through a straw. I'm also pretty sure I don't mean I want to freebase you before a 72-hour cram session (I'm not sure exactly what freebasing is, so I guess it's possible, if unlikely, that I want to do it to everyone on campus). Nor do I want to eat a lot of you, since just two of you have as much caffeine as one cup of coffee.

The Setonian
Mirror

THE CAPTAIN'S LOG: Safety and Security Fanfic

I should lay my cards on the table straightaway: I think I am a fan of Safety and Security. And instead of meting out the usual dose of punishment, I'm going to take some space to, in a mildly twisted way, give them a thank you. Obviously, I don't mean that Safety and Security doesn't ever screw up -- they do, and it's good that people remind them.

The Setonian
Mirror

The Captain's Log: Bubbleology

Here are some lies about the Dartmouth Bubble: it's a microcosm of the real world; it's the natural result of being out in the middle of nowhere; it is one of many bubbles in God's champagne; it's an optical illusion caused by refraction of a thinning, viscous and soapy membrane. Rather, I think, the Dartmouth Bubble -- insofar as it's real at all, remains at its root a schema useful for dealing with the exigencies of our own D-plan-amplified self-absorption. And yet, thanks to our collegiate and careless use of language, the idea of "the Dartmouth Bubble" gets tossed around like it has all those mythic meanings and more.

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