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(10/27/06 9:00am)
The Big Apple. The Empire City. The City That Never Sleeps. The Bearded Clam. New York by any other name is still the same rat-infested urinary-depository that many a Dartmouth grad comes to call home. I had the privilege of venturing into the depths of this renowned city last summer. It smelled a lot like urine and rats.
(05/26/06 9:00am)
I hardly recognize the Dartmouth campus anymore. It has changed so much in the three years I've been here. The road connecting to frat row is gone. McLaughlin Cluster has sprouted up. The greasy old gym has been replaced by a futuristic fitness advancement center complete with ergonomically designed medicine balls (who knew a ball whose sole purpose is to be heavy could be improved upon). You can even watch cable television on your laptop at the library. I have no doubt that the '10s are going to take all of these changes completely for granted.
(05/12/06 9:00am)
Would you rather make-out with your mother or spend a humid summer night naked in a hammock with your father? It's a tough choice. I have spent a good portion of my young adult life debating such questions. Some would say there is no way to answer such a question. These people are missing the big picture. If you were in a life or death situation, you would have to choose. And you wouldn't want to let your parents down.
(05/05/06 9:00am)
If you're anything like me, you have a hard time waking up and making it through your first class without the ranting, obscenities, and awkward boners of "Guy & Fellow," the stick-figure comic strip/social commentary of Paul Heintz '06.
(04/21/06 9:00am)
As I think God once said, "The meek shall inherit the earth." Well guess what? They already have. We live in a world made for the short and the small. As a tall and generally big guy, everyday I suffer the consequences of my stature. Sure it's nice to be able to reach high objects on a whim, but the downfalls of being big and tall have come to out weigh the pros.
(04/07/06 9:00am)
In the spirit of spring, last Sunday I went for a hike to the fire tower in Norwich. As a veteran hiker, I knew to bring along some emergency supplies in case I got into a pickle: water, food, matches, warm outer layers, a Swiss army knife, my girlfriend, wool socks, etc. But without a doubt, had I gotten into trouble out there in the unforgiving Norwich woods none of these items would have saved me. My girlfriend is no MacGyver and I forgot the rest of the stuff in the car. The one thing that most likely would have saved me was the one other thing I brought along with me: Vic, Alpha Delta's Bernese Mountain Dog. I am now a firm believer that frat dogs are more than pizza crust disposal units; they are life savers as well, which is more than I can say for the rest of the canine world.
(03/03/06 11:00am)
Its hard to avoid making self-calls at a place like Dartmouth. For one, we all turned down Harvard to come here. Then there's the fact that we do some pretty cool sh*t as a as a student population. We become Rhodes scholars; we win Olympic gold medals; we try to see how many chicken nuggets we can fit in our mouth while still being able to swallow.
(01/20/06 11:00am)
By the time you reach junior winter, you know most of the ins and outs of living in Hanover. Never use a credit card at Panda House. Wednesday is 30-cent wing night at 5 Olde. Don't drink and blitz. Don't sign up for 10As. Freshmen don't get smaller each year; your ego just gets bigger. Don't poop in the East Wheelock elevator.
(01/06/06 11:00am)
Holy crap, it's 2006. I'm not sure if I'm quite ready for the new year. Just as I was getting used to writing 2005, they go and switch it up on us all. Couldn't we just push New Year's back a month or two to give us all a buffer zone? Anyway, I still feel like I'm living in 2005 and am certainly not ready to start reflecting on it yet. But I do feel I've had enough time to digest 1995, and, man, what a year that was.
(08/11/05 9:00am)
I was shocked to read about the defecation that occurred in South Massachusetts Hall over the weekend ("Defecator hits S. Mass bathroom, fines likely," Aug. 9).
(07/21/05 9:00am)
You know who I haven't seen walking around campus for a long time? President James Wright. This surprises me because, quite honestly, he is a large human being. I doubt he's just blending into the crowd.
(07/12/05 9:00am)
The men of Dartmouth are gone. In their place, the College has been gradually filled with an entirely new population of males -- a population that nonchalantly drinks soy milk and orders egg white breakfast wraps; a population that religiously watches TV shows like "The OC;" a population that spends whole evenings updating their thefacebook.com profiles; a population that admits to having emotions. What, ask I, has gone wrong?