What You Googled This Week: Freshman Fall Edition

By Gigi Grigorian | 10/2/17 5:38pm

You’re a freshman. You’ve only been in Hanover for a month, but, being the cool, independent guy/gal you are, you try to seem like the expert in all things Dartmouth. Just one problem: There’s still a lot you don’t know. Like, a lot

Never fear! Grab your iPhone, stealthily angle it so no one else can see the screen and open up Safari. Google is here to answer all of your questions, even the ones that make you physically cringe because you feel like such a freshman. 

Temperatures were in the 90s earlier in the week then they plummeted into the 40s??? What??? 

Whoops! It is Week Three of the term, and you never got around to buying that textbook. You could order it now, but why? The PDF will work just as well as the actual book! Except, sometimes it doesn’t load properly. Also, there’s a chance it might be giving your computer a virus. But that’s neither here nor there. 

Do you really go to Dartmouth if you don’t have one hanging prominently in your dorm? You don’t know, so you’re going to buy one just to be safe. 

Well, would you look at that! It is Monday, and you have not been to the gym since Saturday. Like, nine days ago Saturday. As you chomp down on your third Foco cookie of the day, you decide you should probably go tonight. 

Learn a new language, they said! It will be fun, they said! What’s one thing they forgot to say? There’s a solid chance that you’ll end up 7:45 a.m. drill. When your alarm rings at 6:45 a.m., you instinctively hit snooze. You roll over and wonder if you really have to get up.

If you don’t live there, you’ve probably Googled this. Spoiler alert: it’s like a 20-minute walk. When making the trek in the dark/in the rain/in the cold, don’t say you weren’t warned.

You see upperclassmen going to rush events. You hear Greek letters tossed around. You pride yourself on being able to identify some of the sororities/frats. Your (very few) upperclassmen acquaintances have tried to explain the rush process to you. You nod along and pretend you understand, but do you really? Probably not. Thankfully, Google’s got you. 

Gigi Grigorian