An Open Letter to Boys Who Wear Socks and Sperrys

By Margaret Jones | 5/2/16 6:57am

To Whom It May Concern:

While you may have been able to hide your fashion faux-pas under khakis, cords or even ~chinos~ during the fall and winter terms, spring term proves to be less forgiving of your egregious fashion habits. Theturning of the seasons and warming of the weather brings a shift in clothing choices, as sundresses and salmon shorts begin to makeappearances on the Green andthe Collis patio.

Andwhile sunny skies, vitamin D and happier moods abound, there is also a tragic plague infecting our campus which, this time, we can’t blame on our friends over at Harvard. Unlike the mumps, you can’t avoid this disease by cutting down on pong, kissing people or sharing yourwater bottle (God forbid people actually hydrateat this school).While my peers and I may tolerate your pale legs, pastel shorts and overwhelming abundance of button-downs, there is one fashion choice that we will not stand for: socks and Sperrys.


Exactly what prompts you to all dress like the spawn of Satan, I do not know. Nor do I, or anyone else for that matter, see any benefits to wearing tall white socks with shoes that are quite obviously meant to be worn sans accoutrements. We are not in middle school. There is no need to show off your #dopeswaggucci Nike Elites to prove that you do, indeed, ball so hard.

You look like 13-year-olds going to seventh grade Spanish class rather than 20-year-old economics majors, and your sweaty socks are less than pleasant to smell at 9 a.m. in class (why your feet all seem to be so sweaty at such an ungodly hour in the morning, the world may never know). You are only exacerbating the aura of douchiness and fr@ instead of highlighting what could be ~college style sophistication~. And no, the white socks do not bring out your nonexistent tans.

So please, do myself, yourselves and the rest of the world a favor and lose the socks.

Because this...

no socks

…is infinitely more stylish than this.


It-isn’t-that-hard-to-literally-not-put-on-socks-in-the-morning (like pls) <3

Margaret Jones