Dear Freak of the Week,
Homecoming is here! I’m excited to see all my friends who are coming back, but I’m also a bit nervous because I heard through the grapevine that my ex-situationship is coming back. I’m single right now and definitely a little bit bored, but I don’t know what the vibe is. We ended amicably and I think I’d go for it if I saw him, but I’m worried I might have too much of a good time, get attached and then miss him when he leaves at the end of the weekend. Do I put myself in this position or avoid him altogether?
Sincerely,
Homecumming
Dear Homecumming,
Things tend to heat up during big weekends, especially when there’s a bonfire involved!
I think there might be a good chance that this person is thinking about you, too. I’m really curious about how this ended. Did you guys just stop hooking up with each other because he graduated? Or did it end before, and then he left?
If he stopped hooking up and then he left later, I wouldn’t put much effort into seeing him. But I’d go for it if the vibes are right and you happen to run into him. Letting fate decide seems straightforward here, especially since you don’t have a strong desire to catch up. It also helps to eliminate the possible disappointment that might come if you do make an effort and he turns you down.
In the case that you stopped hooking up because he graduated, there are two possibilities here. Either you stopped getting with each other and didn’t start dating because you both didn’t like each other enough, or one person liked the other person too much, but the other didn’t want to try to make it work.
In the case that it was a mutual disinterest, then you should definitely try to see him and see how the weekend goes because why the hell not. I don’t see you necessarily getting attached, especially if you didn’t before. Although, if you do, that’s not the worst thing in the world either — I know of one relationship at Dartmouth where two people started dating after one of them graduated, and they’re super happy!
If it’s the other situation and you liked him more than he liked you, I’d probably avoid seeing him, because I think that you might actually get attached and it might hurt you. Even if you don’t feel strongly about seeing him now, there’s a chance that he comes back, you see him and the spell comes back.
This situation takes being honest with yourself. Did you like him more than he liked you? If so, stay away.
- Eli
Eli Moyse ’27 is an opinion editor and columnist for The Dartmouth. He studies government and creative writing. He publishes various personal work under a pen name on Substack (https://substack.com/@wesmercer), and you can find his other work in various publications.
