Dear Freak of the Week,
I’m in a situationship with this guy, and we’ve been hooking up for pretty much the entire term. He’s nice and we sometimes do stuff besides just hooking up –– studying in the library, getting meals, etc. We haven’t really talked about the fact that we’re gonna be apart for so long (why is winter SO long!) and I know that he has this hometown ex that he still talks to sometimes. What should I do? I like him as a person, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to date him yet.
From,
’Tis the Damn Season
Dear ’Tis the Damn Season,
I’m going to give you some tough love here because someone needs to do it. Listen up. You’ve been hooking up with this guy for ten weeks. That means you’ve known him for at least ten weeks. If you can’t decide whether or not you want to date someone after that much time, you need to work on your decision making skills.
Please do not continue this situationship through winterim. You’ll constantly think about whether this guy is seeing his ex with no way of knowing. It’s going to eat away at you for six long, cold and dark weeks.
I honestly think winterim is exactly what you need right now. It’s a sign from the calendar that you need to make a decision. If he hasn’t brought up the incoming reality of you guys being apart, it probably means that he’s unsure of what he wants. He might also be hoping that you don’t talk about it so he can fade you without having an awkward conversation. If the latter is the case, that hometown ex of his will likely be getting a visit the first night he’s back.
You said you like this guy as a person. My opinion is that if you’re not absolutely sure you want to date him, you should cut it off. Being long distance for the first six weeks of your relationship would probably suck. It would be a great first test, but if it doesn’t work out, you’ve just spent six weeks of your free time on a person that didn’t deserve it.
If you want to be serious, you know what to do. Just tell him that you want to date sooner rather than later. Give him time to think about it if he needs to, and then wait for what he has to say.
Ultimately, I would lean towards cutting this off. You can always reconnect if you’re meant to, and it’d be much better to spend six weeks scrolling dating apps in your hometown instead of tweaking about a guy you’re feeling “eh” about.
- Eli
Eli Moyse ’27 is an opinion editor and columnist for The Dartmouth. He studies government and creative writing. He publishes various personal work under a pen name on Substack (https://substack.com/@wesmercer), and you can find his other work in various publications.
