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Dear Freak of the Week,
My boyfriend keeps using ChatGPT to solve our relationship problems. Help. I’m really not into this whole AI thing — AND I think it’s super bad for the planet. WTAF! What should I do?
- Botted
Dear Botted,
One of my favorite parts of answering this question has been picturing this scenario. You are sincerely delivering your concerns about the relationship, while he sits across from you with his laptop open, transcribing what you’re saying into ChatGPT and then reading the responses aloud. Or is it more subtle? Does he ask them in ChatGPT in private, and then try to at least change what it says into his own words? Based on the fact that you know, I like to imagine that it’s some variation of the first.
First of all, I apologize. Although you’re lucky to be dating a Greek god, because it frankly sounds like your lover is Prometheus. Something that gets me about AI is the decadent human hubris that it produces. There is an astonishing number of people who seem to sincerely believe that a statistically calibrated machine is better suited at answering the pressing questions of life rather than a human being, or even some independent reflection. I don’t blame all people who use ChatGPT in this way — some people are simply lonely. Others however, are just lazy. It sounds like your boyfriend might be the latter.
I really don’t mean to be blunt here, but it seems like your boyfriend is ill-equipped to put in the effort that a relationship requires. I think it might be worth it to observe him in a number of different aspects of life. Does he use ChatGPT for everything? Is he one of those chronic users that uses it in replacement for Google, and to ask what he should do next in his day? Is he someone who asks ChatGPT for moral support? If this is the case, I would be more concerned for him in a general way. This sounds like some form of AI dependence, which at this point should be classified as some kind of disease.
The situation is even more dire if he does this only for your relationship. That’s a strong signal he just doesn’t care.
I guess there’s a small chance that he is so completely unaware about relationship norms that he thinks this is appropriate. Or he’s not very smart and thinks that outsourcing the work would be better than him trying for himself.
If you really like him, tell him to cut it out. If you couldn’t care less, break up with him. Sorry you have had to deal with this.
- Moyse
Freak of the Week is a weekly relationship advice column co-written by Leila Brady ’27 and Eli Moyse ’27. If you’d like to submit a question, email it to dartmouthfreakoftheweek@gmail.com.
Eli Moyse ’27 is an opinion editor and columnist for The Dartmouth. He studies government and creative writing. He publishes various personal work under a pen name on Substack (https://substack.com/@wesmercer), and you can find his other work in various publications.
