Dear Freak of the Week,
I recently went out to get drinks with friends and sat at the bar. A woman about 10 years older was sitting next to me, and we struck up a conversation. I thought she was pretty attractive and the conversation was relatively normal, and then suddenly she asked me on a date. I thought this was quite forward and I didn’t know what to say, so we just exchanged numbers. She texted me to try to plan something and I’m not sure what I want to do about it yet. What do you think? Is it weird that she’s so much older? Is it weird that she was so forward?
- Manchild
Dear Manchild,
If you know me, you know that I love to be forward. If you like somebody, you should go for it! I think that in general, this is a good rule for life as long as you are always respectful about it. However, in this case, I’m going to give it to you straight: This, to me, reads like the beginning of a true crime documentary. I’ll admit that it is remarkably odd that this person who was 10 years older than you decided to ask you out, especially since you’re a younger college kid. I don’t know how old you look, but I don’t think most 30-somethings are interested in dating a kid who is in their very early 20s.
In fact, I’d think that it would’ve been more normal for her to just ask you to hook up, since that’s a one-time thing a lot of people go out to bars for. But no, she asked you for a date, which to me implies that she sees this as a potentially more deep emotional connection.
When I take a step back though, I think I’m probably being too harsh on this person. The chances that they are some kind of creeper are low — I’m sure they’re just another person like you or me putting themselves out there and looking for love. If she reached out to plan something, that clearly means that she is interested or very interested. Yes, she is 10 years older than you. That can come with its upsides: getting to know this person could provide you wisdom and a unique perspective on life.
You don’t have to date this person. Personally, I think that if you thought that she was “pretty attractive,” you should give her a chance. There are ways to ensure your safety if you’re apprehensive. Make sure you’re in a public place, and you tell your friends what you’re doing. You can even bring pepper spray if you want. Good luck, and I encourage you to give unconventional love a chance!
- Eli
Eli Moyse ’27 is an opinion editor and columnist for The Dartmouth. He studies government and creative writing. He publishes various personal work under a pen name on Substack (https://substack.com/@wesmercer), and you can find his other work in various publications.
