Mirror Asks: The Humor Edition

by The Mirror Staff | 2/4/16 6:42pm

  1. What’s your funniest memory at Dartmouth?

Caroline Berens ’18: When I was trying to soften a Pop-Tart in the Fahey-McClane fourth floor kitchen, and I accidentally set the microwave to two minutes instead of twenty seconds. Within a minute the microwave, and then the entire kitchen, were engulfed in smoke, and I spent the rest of the night airing it out so the fire alarm didn’t go off. It wasn’t funny at the time, but it was the next day.

Abbey Cahill ’18: Discovering [the Instagram] @fruitofthefoco.

Mary Liza Hartong ’16: Over sophomore summer, Casual Thursday decided do hold one practice on the river. We rented kayaks and canoes and did improv while we paddled. Needless to say, much more capsizing, pretending to be sharks and splashing happened than any actual comedy.

Luke McCann ’16: Once during a Dog Day rehearsal my freshman year, one of the ’13s did an entire scene about a person who has spoons for hands. I still laugh about it three years later. You had to be there.

Parker Richards ’18: My friend joked she was just with her boyfriend until she met a hot football player.

Carolyn Zhou ’19: I have a friend who is the absolute worst with names. Even though she’s known some of my friends for months now, she still calls them the wrong name occasionally. The other week, she went to see Bill Clinton at the Hop. After she went, she was like, “I saw George Clinton,” and didn’t realize that she had messed up the name of a former president and someone she had waited in line to see. And that made me crack up.

Hayley Hoverter ’17: This was technically off-campus, but I once went to a charcoal farm (only at Dartmouth) and the guy was talking up how important his kiln was to making charcoal. With perfect comedic timing, right as he said that and we were admiring the kiln, the farmer’s dog ran up to the kiln and peed on it.

2. Who’s the funniest person you know? Why?

Charlotte Beever ’17: Probably a tie between my mom and my best friend from high school. They’re just hilarious and can totally make me laugh so hard I cry and/or pee my pants.

Caroline Berens ’18: My ninth grade high school English teacher Mr. Mikalaitis was very funny. He was one of those people who was (is) naturally gifted at making other people laugh, and it always seems utterly effortless.

Parker Richards ’18: My uncle’s college roommate, Bill. He’s beyond hilarious and now hosts his own cooking show and writes cookbooks.

Mary Liza Hartong ’16: My uncle is the funniest person I know. He’s an actor and he does a lot of bizarre commercials and mini-series so he has great stories and impressions of people. He’s got the type of story telling pizazz that can make any experience funny.

Luke McCann ’16: My grandmother, without a doubt. She’s this tiny little Irish woman who occasionally has one or two drinks too many. She has absolutely no filter and nothing is off limits. I think she’d be an outrageous stand-up comedian.

Hayley Hoverter ’17: I’m a firm believer that people are funnier when they’re not deliberately trying to make you laugh. My grandfather once went to a party with his shirt on inside out and backwards, so I’ll give it to him.

3. What was the hardest you’ve ever laughed?

Charlotte Beever ’17: I was in a class that had an interesting mix of students and a pretty laid-back prof. I forget why but at one point some students decided to get up and reenact a fight scene from a play we were reading, and I had kind of been spacing out, so I totally had no idea what was going on, and the professor just kind of went with it and let it happen. I was also with a really funny friend who kept making commentary and the fact that I knew I shouldn’t laugh made it harder not to laugh, so eventually I just lost it and had to run outside and just laugh/cry.

Abbey Cahill ’18: When my friend’s ENTIRE bathing suit came flying off on the banana tube in the ocean, and the boat kept pulling her.

Mary Liza Hartong ’16: Freshman year my friend and I were going to watch another friend perform some a cappella in the snow around the Life Sciences Center. It took us about 30 minutes to walk from the River Cluster to the LSC, and we joked about weasels the whole time. I still laugh thinking about those stinking weasels with bad tails.

Luke McCann ’16: I’ve never laughed so hard that I pissed myself, but I envy people who have. Like, that is literally so funny in itself.

Parker Richards ’18: Whenever I make my “That’s so intense [in tents] it’s in yurts” joke and no one ever gets it.

Hayley Hoverter ’17: In high school, I went to an SAT information session and the guy hosting it walked into a folding chair in the middle of his presentation. He kept tripping and catching himself over and over again. We didn’t want to embarrass him anymore, so we all had to watch helplessly from our seats. Everyone was trying to stay quiet to be nice, which made it even funnier.

4. Tell us a joke (it can be cheesy!!!)

Charlotte Beever ’17: When I was really little I read some book that had the joke “Waiter, there is a fly in my soup” and it killed me. I told everyone I met that joke for a year. I also liked telling my dad “You’re not my dad!” and laughing and running away because he’s really uptight.

Caroline Berens ’18: My grandfather frequently says this joke to me because I’m so tall: “If you fall down, you’d be halfway home.”

Mary Liza Hartong ’16: What do you call a jedi who delivers babies? Obi-G-Y-N-Kenobi.

Luke McCann ’16: How do you know your one-night stand is voting for Bernie? You start to feel the bern (I just made this up is it even funny?).

Leina McDermott ’19: My grade on the Chem 5 midterm. Haha.

Parker Richards ’18: This water is what happens when you lightly toast Mark Hamill. Because it’s Lukewarm.

Hayley Hoverter ’17: Life is like a box of chocolates. I don’t have a box of chocolates.

5. If you could describe Dartmouth’s sense of humor in a sentence or two, what would you say about it?

Charlotte Beever ’17: Is there a Dartmouth sense of humor?

Abbey Cahill ’18: Very witty, and sometimes more punny than I would like it to be, especially people’s Instagram captions.

Mary Liza Hartong ’16: We’re vulnerable and many of us show that through humor.

Parker Richards ’18: It’s highly sensitive, averse to potentially offensive jokes, and utterly devoid of a sense of satire.

Luke McCann ’16: This entire school is a joke.

Leina McDermott ’19: Based on Yik Yak, I think Dartmouth’s sense of humor can be pretty savage but also accurate and hilarious.

Carolyn Zhou ’19: Dry, witty, semi-intellectual humor. I wouldn’t be the best person to ask because I actually haven’t been to any comedy shows yet, but I’d assume our humor is like that of any young adult’s — semi-inappropriate sometimes, sometimes satirical, very sarcastic.

Hayley Hoverter ’17: Definitely a lot more neurotic and self-deprecating than I expected coming into the school. Otherwise, very dry.