It is no secret that students have an unhealthy obsession with what we have aptly termed “facetime.” We say that the desire to be seen can influence where we sit in the library, where we eat in FoCo, where we go to socialize, whom we hang out with and, most interestingly, our activity on social media. The facetimey Facebook persona is one with which we are all too familiar. Those who embody this persona constantly “mupload” photos so we always know where they are and whom they are with. They post witty status upon witty status about their thoughts, accomplishments, random daily encounters and newfound sorority and fraternity affiliations. They change their profile picture, change it back to their old one, and change it back to the new one again so that the photo will reappear in their friends’ newsfeeds and garner more likes (pathetic but true — I’ve actually witnessed this). They are shameless. We have all, at least at one point, been that person and kind of hate ourselves for it. Sadly, we have become a generation that is totally dependent upon the validation of others via social media and our obsession with online facetime is not only consuming our valuable time, but also perverting the way in which we experience our lives.
Why do we need to be seen? Because Dartmouth students are especially preoccupied with social capital. We rank Greek houses and like to know exactly who is hanging out or hooking up with whom. We dye our hair so we can be readily identified as members of “prestigious” groups like H Croo or Lodj Croo, flaunting flair, blue bows, lunchboxes, “unis,” “sirens” and “jorts” to signal our Greek affiliation. We participate in activities, join groups and, oddly enough, derive a weird sense of pride in knowing that others acknowledge all of these things. Sometimes it is hard to tell if we really do something for ourselves or for the sake of being noticed and finding comfort in having some sort of significance on a campus of overwhelmingly accomplished people.
Our need to categorize, impose social hierarchies and be perceived as important is, of course, silly. In an ideal world, we would do what we want and not care about the approval of others. But we are human. I myself have succumbed to the facetimey demands of Dartmouth culture. I, like many of my peers, joined the Greek system because it was the “relevant” social scene on campus. Though I have finally decided to depledge my sorority and do what actually makes me happy, it proved surprisingly hard, just like it is difficult to delete a Facebook account even for a week.
Think about how much time we spend taking pictures of ourselves and our friends at an event rather than enjoying said event. It is almost like we need to prove to others via social media how much fun we are having rather than actually having fun. So many of us are guilty of this, even if we do not consider ourselves to be “social-climby.” We have forgotten, often enough, to live in the moment. Monitoring the number of Facebook likes we receive or the affiliations of our peers blinds us to real life. We cannot continue to fish for the approval of others in a virtual world, let alone our actual lives and the actual activities that we do. Our self-worth and the worth of others cannot continue to be based upon our social capital over, say, academic achievements.
When I explained the concept of facetime to my friends at home, they were incredulous. They said that the fact that Dartmouth students even have a word for the desire to be seen says a lot about our values, and it is true. We, myself included, have to try to abandon our totally contrived social principles and refrain from experiencing life as something that would look awesome on Facebook or allow us a way of attaining status. Getting facetime is an artificial, ephemeral means of satisfaction. True fulfillment comes from sincere interactions and accomplishments of substance.
