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The Dartmouth
March 19, 2026
The Dartmouth
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Top 5 Things You Pray Your Parents Won't Do on First-Year Family Weekend

  1. Attempt any form of in-person or digital contact with you from 10 p.m. to 10 a.m.
  2. Family photo shoot on the Green.
  3. Inviting your evil, devil-spawn roommate and family to an extended off-campus dinner.
  4. Don a derby hat and opt to join in the debaucherous activities on Webster Ave.
  5. Request an all-access tour of "that Rolling Stone frat."

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