First, I must admit that I'm writing this piece through the eyes of someone who was known as a classic high school beauty. I mean, my scrunchies always matched my Costco bulk pack socks, my rarely brushed hair was parted perfectly in the center and my glasses had eight distinct sides. No, really. Eight. I single-handedly started the octagonal glasses trend in Southern California.
Truthfully, I think it would be nearly impossible to find anyone now who would find that early high school version of myself even remotely attractive, let alone datable. But even later, after I finally discovered the miracle of contacts and side parts, high school romance was just like those geometrically challenged glasses: unequivocally awkward.
"High school romance was making eyes at each other in AP Bio," Emily Liu '12 said. "Oh, and the tried and true line, Hey, wanna study together?'"
Adrian Ferrari '14 remembered the difficulties of making conversation on his first date.
"We spoke very directly about how each of us would make great boyfriends hypothetically," he said. "And we didn't want to hold hands because we didn't want to make a parade out of it."
Others, like Jane Cavelier '14, didn't have as many (or any) choices in their high school dating pools.
"I went to an all-girls' school since sixth grade," she said. "But my parents would ship me off to this Jewish summer camp in Zionsville, Ind. to learn how to socialize. I had my first real kiss there."
And just like our first dates, everyone's first kisses in high school were, in the end, pretty clumsy.
"Other girls told me it felt like licking a salmon," Cavelier said.
Christine Kim '14 was advised to write the alphabet with her tongue and, if that failed, to simply copy.
"I was told, when in doubt, just do what they do," she added. "Supposedly foolproof."
It's not.
But now that we've all escaped the salmon-licking land of high school, are we better at this whole dating and romance thing? The answer is a resounding ... maybe.
Sam Winters '14, whose first date in high school was a beach trip that ended with him and his date shivering in the unexpected cold, said he is happy with his relationship here at Dartmouth.
"One thing about a relationship in college is that you can see people a lot more than you could in high school," he said. "I don't have to leave [my girlfriend] to go have family dinner at my house, and the extra time together makes relationships develop a lot faster."
Others, too, said they think dating at Dartmouth though not as prevalent as expected is still more meaningful and serious when it does happen.
"Here, I feel like I wouldn't even call someone my boyfriend unless it was pretty serious," Kim said. "It's a small school, there's more pressure to make it work and I want to be more responsible."
But Will Kuzma '14 cited Dartmouth's size as a negative, arguing that romantic connections are often ended before they can even begin.
"Let's be honest, everyone knows everyone here," he said. "And the reputation you have is most likely shallow, based on hearsay in some basement."
Liu said the lifestyles of students at larger universities are more conducive to dating that actually resembles "real life."
"More of those kids have jobs, pay rent, drive to classes or extracurriculars," Liu said. "They're allowed to progress past this strange reliance on social constructs and can grow up and date, like real people."
Thankfully, though, there are couples here who have dealt with both high school and Dartmouth dating scenes with grace and a commitment to each other that makes their connection stronger.
Julia Berkowitz '14 and Peter Savarese '15 met through a film-worthy prom story and, in fact, their story was published in The Boston Globe. Their three-year anniversary is coming up this month.
"It was hard at first because in high school there was a clear separation between school and home, which is something that really isn't easy here," Berkowitz explained. "But we've figured it out. And though I hear everyone say that dating at Dartmouth is impossible, I really don't agree."
Chase Mertz '15 also said he believes that dating at Dartmouth is possible. He and his long-distance girlfriend, whom he started dating his junior year of high school, Skype regularly and manage to foster romance in their own way.
"I saved all the outside crusts of the pop tarts I've eaten this term for her," Mertz said.
Wait, what?
"Well, I hate the crusts, and she loves them, so I always break them off and save them for her in a container for when she visits," Mertz explained. "I don't know. Just a habit."
Well, that's just adorable.
"Girls keep telling me that it's hard to find relationships here, but I think they're not really looking," Mertz added. "So can I make a shout out to my man, Henry J. Russell ['15]? 'Cause he's looking for a love, and he's a sweetheart."
Cavalier is a member of The Dartmouth Staff. Kim is a member of The Dartmouth Business Staff.
