Dartmouth already has its fair share of contemporary celebrity alums, from the real such as Mindy Kaling '01 and Timothy Geithner '83 to the fictional, such as Meredith Grey and Stephen Colbert. But for the sake of dreaming big in this issue, what if the following famous people went to Dartmouth?
Lady Gaga '08: While at Dartmouth, Lady Gaga marched to the beat of her own drum. Though her experimental fashion choices especially the winter formal dress she sewed together from stolen FoCo cold cuts alienated her from her peers, she did have a small group of close friends who liked to get together and make clothes for her wardrobe at her off-campus "haus." A women and gender studies major, Gaga was involved in Gender Sexuality XYZ and Panarchy undergraduate society. She also made costumes for the theater department, most of which went unworn because they were too see-through. Although her peers were often unsure how to react to her, Gaga was accepting and spent time with a diverse group of broke, evergreen and Lebanese students. Gaga was always down for a dance party and was known to tell sober friends, "Don't be a drag, just be a queen."
Suri Cruise '11: As the youngest graduate Dartmouth has ever had, this precocious student didn't let the pacifier in her mouth get in the way of speaking her mind. A sharp-witted fashion writer, some of her material caused an uproar for its insulting remarks about her peers, which included commentary on their "unfortunate nouveau lumberjack style." In her piece on frackets, she wrote, "I never wear a jacket because it hides my outfit, but if I do, it's neither ugly nor cheap." Besides her fashion writing, Suri double majored in English and art history in addition to founding the Dartmouth Scientologists' Club.
Mark Zuckerberg '06: A computer science major, Zuckerberg ran the Hacker Club until he was Parkhursted for violating students' privacy in an attempt to improve the accuracy of the LoveMatch survey. In order to provide students with the most accurate results, Zuckerberg created a software that hacked students' grades, personal emails and web-browsing history. After being asked to leave his junior year, he transferred to Harvard.
Barack Obama '83: While at Dartmouth, Obama served as president of Student Assembly, through which he tried to lower the cost and improve the quality of Dick's House. Despite a smear campaign rumored to be led by The Dartmouth Review, Obama was known on campus for his optimism and eloquent manner of speaking. "Barack was always trying to make changes," his undergraduate dean recalled. Obama also played for the club basketball team while at Dartmouth, a passion he pursued since high school, and he majored in government with a minor in public policy.
