Top 5 Rejected "What If" Articles for This Issue

1."What if when they rebuilt Dartmouth Hall, they painted it pink?" What a great question! Just kidding. That's an awful question.2. "What if Dartmouth were originally created as a clown school rather than a school to educate Native Americans?" I'm not sure, but I would have loved to take classes in the CS department, by which I mean Clown Studies.3. "What if everyone at Dartmouth rode Segways?" Courtesy of staff writer Sean Schultz. What were you thinking?4. "What if the snow sculpture were traditionally always made of bacon?" Then we obviously would have deconstructed the cupcake weeks ago and campus would have been delighted to smell sizzling pork products for hours.5. "What if Dr. Seuss didn't go to Dartmouth?" That's an easy one: We'd be Middlebury.