This is the story of a fall.
At some point, evolution got a little goofy and we ended up walking on two legs. I guess it's good for some things. Shoes cost half as much. But it does makes it easier for us to fall.
I didn't break a bone until I got into high school. Then I started breaking them annually. I actually liked breaking bones because breaks come with a story. Kind of like a two-for-one deal on crutches.
I broke my collarbone when I fell out of a tree. I think I was playing capture the flag or something. I made a bad hop, but I didn't quite get my footing right, and then I fell. It hurt.
The more it happens, the more I like falling. It's fast. It's out of control. It's unplanned. It's unexpected. It's exciting. It feels real.
I spend a lot of time thinking about what's real. I think that's because I was like 10 when "The Matrix" came out. I spend most of my waking hours looking at screens. I like them.
The unfortunate part about sitting and staring at screens all the time is that it keeps me in a bubble. Headphones have the same effect. They keep me in my own place. They keep me away from people. They keep me alone.
It amazes me how much sound changes how I feel. If I have headphones on, I feel distant. I drop out of the world for a little bit. I go virtual. I go far, far away.
I took my biggest fall when I was far, far away. In New Zealand, there are not too many rules. I actually don't think there are any laws there. You can more or less do what you want. That includes jumping out of planes.
Falling 15,000 feet was probably the most exhilarating thing I've done in my life. Actually, it might be the second. It's fast. I'm not a particularly patient person. I like moving fast. It's more efficient.
Falling that far changes how you think. You feel different after that. Things mean more. You feel less like each day is a haze. There's less lens flare. That makes things less hip, but I'm fine with that.
I have yet to find a sensation similar to the feeling of falling that far. It's intoxicating. You feel like you are motionless even though everything is going so fast. You can see everything. If there were an intoxicant that mirrored that feeling, I'd probably be addicted.
The worst part about falling is the parachute. The fall comes to an end. Hitting the ground would be worse, but the parachute is kind of a party pooper. It pulls you out of it.
Ideally, you could just fall forever. You could live behind screens and headphones. You could just be in the moment. You could stay alive. It'd be great to just fall deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper.
Someone once said that we fall so that we can pick ourselves up. That is incorrect.
We fall because of gravity. We fall because a force outside of our control is pulling us. We don't fall for a reason. It just happens.
It's hard to get away from things. We have so much baggage. I usually can't fit all of mine in a carry-on. That's why falling is a gift. None of that matters.
If you have never fallen, you are missing out. You are missing life. Falls change you. They have substance. They're weighty. A parachute or the ground may stop you for a minute, but the fall didn't really end. It's in limbo.
Gravitational attraction doesn't really ever go away. Bodies like getting near each other. I think that's one of those little jokes God wrote into the universe. Given enough time, things will always end up back together.
Always falling back into each other.
