This is the story of a daiquiri.
There are only one or two things worth drinking. White wine and daiquiris are tops. Water is okay too.
I had my first stawberry daiquiri when I was eight. We were in Miami for a conference. My father was giving a presentation. There was a stand on the beach that made virgin daiquiris. I decided that they were my favorite drink.
I am old enough now that some people think of me as an adult. There are things not becoming of an adult. Drinking Slurpees with dinner is one of those things. That is unfortunate. Slurpees had to grow up, and so some high-functioning alcoholic concocted the daiquiri. I am pretty sure that's not true but maybe it is.
I had my first fight when I was 11. I took a kid's pillow on the bus home from school. He'd made it in class. One side was red. The other had a pattern. I was just fooling around. He didn't think it was funny. He ended up punching me in the face. It was a hard right hook to the jaw.
I tackled him and gave the pillow back. He put it in his house. Afterwards, we got some matches and lit things on fire in the alley.
Last spring, one of my friends, Charlie, was casually seeing this girl from Hanover. He asked her to go to formal with him. At the same time, the girl was fooling around with another one of my friends, Ash. That ended up being a bad call.
I walked onto the back porch of my house one night to find Charlie talking to the girl, explaining to her why she was worthless. He picked up a daiquiri and dumped it on her head. I was annoyed because I knew I was going to have to stop a fight and because he'd wasted a perfectly good daiquiri.
The girl's friends started yelling at Charlie. I got between them. Another guy, Pedro, showed up and took my friend's side. Death threats were exchanged. I thought it was kind of funny.
I separated the groups. Afterwards, Pedro asked me what the argument had been about. I told him that Charlie had poured a daiquiri on the girl. He said that he probably shouldn't have taken his side. He said that a fight still would have been cool though.
Ash showed up. Charlie told him the story. Ash thought it was funny. They split a six-pack. Charlie didn't go to formal with the girl. Ash hooked up with her.
I think that I prefer physical violence to verbal violence. It hurts less and you burn more calories. When I was little, the neighborhood kids would settle disputes through duels. We didn't have swords so we used wiffle ball bats. Verbal violence is more adult.
Members of my family have served in the military for a long time. I have a hat to prove it. I'm pretty sure we've been part of every war in America's history.
We got here a while ago. We saw America's birth. We saw his first fumbling steps. We heard him say his first words. He's done a few good things.
I think that he's a kid with potential. He's gifted and talented. He'd probably go to one of those summer camps for smart kids if he went to summer camp. Math camp or something.
But he's still just a kid, and he has a lot of wiffle ball bats. Some day, I think that he's going to solve his problems with other countries by pouring daiquiris on their heads, like an adult. I'm a little worried that after he pours a daiquiri on someone they might not want to light things on fire in the alley with him. I think I'd rather save the daiquiri, anyways.
