A very recent graduate wrote these words to me, which I share with permission:
"I've been thinking a bit recently about positivity and Dartmouth and happiness ... Dartmouth (certainly my environment at Dartmouth, but I think it was pervasive) did not leave much room to be unhappy and rewarded positivity so much. I definitely got swept up in that and I feel like I lost myself and my feelings in that environment. If I have to choose between an overly positive environment like Dartmouth or an overly negative environment, I would choose an overly positive one. But an environment where there is no room for overt sadness I think can lead to more covert self-destructive behaviors, which may be a part of the heavy-drinking culture at Dartmouth. I think that not finding room to feel things besides positivity encouraged my drinking, at least. There are costs to such an environment ..."
These words are especially interesting to me because for the last five years I have taught a Writing 5 course on the subject of happiness. And for nine years now, I have been interacting with Dartmouth students, first as College chaplain and then as dean of the Tucker Foundation.
The student's words ring true. Dartmouth promotes an exceptionally strong culture of overt happiness, where the expectations of present happiness and future success are the perceived norm. Yet those of us who talk to students in any depth know that there is a great deal of sadness, alienation, isolation, self-doubt and confusion. These are normal qualities in human life, and especially among talented and ambitious young adults. What is not normal is the degree to which expressing such feelings seems to violate Dartmouth's unstated but dominant social code.
What we know about happiness, from a research perspective, can be briefly summarized: Some people are naturally happier than others. Everyone has a set point of perceived well-being which is genetically determined, but this set point can actually be moved, within a range, by conditions and voluntary activities. What moves the happiness indicator higher on a sustained basis are satisfying relationships, having enough (but not too much) income or wealth, involvement in volunteer or service activities, participation in communities of faith and engagement in meaningful work. What moves the happiness indicator lower is usually the perception that one is less able, less wealthy or less popular than one's immediate peers. Sometimes, when the brain is stuck in a depressed mood, medication and therapy can be helpful.
Beyond genetics, healthy, mutually supportive relationships are consistently the most important factor that affect our sense of well-being. Thus it is no surprise that college students always rank friendships as one of their most important priorities. We at Dartmouth often claim that the friendships formed here are especially strong. Although there is no data to support that assertion and many colleges make similar claims the combination of a small community and geographical isolation may make our claim more likely. What can make a healthy life at Dartmouth difficult, however, is a constant and apparently exceptionally strong pressure to be popular, cool or right, along with the disruption to relationships caused by the Dartmouth academic calendar and the musical chair system of residential life.
One of the major reasons Greek life is so strong at Dartmouth is that it provides a reliable and sustained social network, a place where students can feel at home despite the disruptions of the calendar and residence halls. Having such a reliable network is especially important among people who have a relatively high sense of social anxiety, which, contrary to Dartmouth's desired social persona, is in fact quite characteristic of most of our students. Students here have generally been driven to achieve, which may make their social skills and their sense of self very fragile. Alcohol is the most immediate and dependable way of quelling that social anxiety. Thus the abuse of alcohol is extremely likely.
The student who wrote to me summarized it very well. When there is an expectation of social success that conflicts with a person's deepest experience of self, there is unhappiness. The result is more than a few voices crying (softly) in the wilderness. This would be a healthier and happier community if our conversations and expectations were more honest and realistic.
