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The Dartmouth
May 28, 2024 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

The cup half full

Like many Dartmouth students, I was first introduced to competitive drinking in high school. Our drinking game of choice was called Thumper, and it was basically a combination of Concentration and Indian Chief (we also played a sober version of it on Trips foreshadowing?). During the game, one player shouts, "What's the name of the game?" to which everyone replies "Thumper!" The same player then asks, "Why are we playing?" The correct response, of course, is "To get f*cked up!"

Things haven't changed much since then. If all the colleges in the world got together and threw a party, Dartmouth would definitely be that belligerent guy challenging all his friends to go shot for shot with him. Provided he managed to rally a couple times throughout the night, dear old Dartmouth would definitely be the last one standing. Or sitting. Or lying on the ground Who's counting?

"I could definitely outdrink Jesus, should it come to that," my friend once told me without a hint of irony. (He probably could.) Sure, we compete with each other to get the good spots in the library, but once the sun goes down the competition doesn't stop. Competition at Dartmouth extends all the way down to the frat basements, although admittedly some drinking games are a bit more competitive than others. (How does taping forties to both hands actually count as a game?)

Flip Cup and Boat Races

Flip cup is basically glorified chugging, kind of like dizzy bat without the running and spinning. Boat racing isn't really glorified anything, but it's good practice for quick-sixing, if you want to beat that Heorot on YouTube.

Who wins: The first team to finish. And everyone else who chugs.

Dice

Some call it dice, some call it seven-eleven-doubles, but whatever it's called, it's great. Why? It involves absolutely no skill whatsoever and isn't even about how much you can drink. This is neither the time nor place to go into the rules, and I'm pretty sure no one understands the rules at Phi Delt anyway. The best part is that dice is entirely about making other people drink. How fun is that?

Who wins: Everyone. For the less competitive, dice is low-key and has no real start or end. Wander in, wander out as long as you have at least three people and two dice, you're set. (If fewer than three of you are playing, stop pretending you need an excuse to drink continuously just do it.)

Vortex

Played by the brothers of Tri-Kap, Vortex is a fast-paced game for a crowd. Basically, you try to bounce a ball into an empty cup faster than whoever your opponent is at the time, and then pass it off to somebody. If you get the ball into the cup on your first try, you can knock your opponent's cup of the table, which means he or she has to drink. Then you pass the ball to either your opponent's cup or to your right. Confused? Yeah, I was too.

Who wins: Everyone. Either you get a shot of adrenaline or a shot of beer.

Wizards and Wands

Rumor has it that this game is an Animal House favorite. Wizards and wands simultaneously fulfills the two favorite pastimes of all boys, drinking and swordfighting. The game is simple drink as many beers you can and then tape the empty cans into a vertical stack. Then, a swordfight ensues.

Who wins: Unclear. But who wouldn't want to watch a drunken beer-can-sword fight?

And Then There's Pong

Writing an article about drinking games just wouldn't be right without mentioning pong, the granddaddy of Dartmouth sports. (Of course it's a sport. Who do you think you are?)

Pong is a contest, but take it too seriously and you'll risk looking like a douche. Miss a slam save? Don't break your paddle because you're angry. And if you talk about your sick spin serve for 20 minutes straight, people might start to wonder if that's all you can do though, come M@sters, that might not be such a bad thing.

Who wins: Everyone.

There's a common theme here. Everyone wins. The only casualty may be that pair of shoes you booted on sorry for partying.