So maybe you've had a bad day with Madame Troll of the econ department. Or maybe you just realized, like 98.5 percent of your fellow classmates, you really do suck at organic chemistry.
Well, that blows. But instead of blowing out your frustration with a bowl, and in the process, blowing your Topside DBA, why don't you bake and in the process get baked yourself?
Welcome to Grandma's Kitchen: Where we give a whole new twist to the meaning of organic.
Here are three simple recipes to get you started. Elegant yet simple, our recipes are sure to be the hit of any party. Whether it be the celebration of the birth of your nephew or the bat mitzvah of your long lost niece, let Grandma's Kitchen cater to your every culinary need with the finest weed.
The Classic: Grandma's Extra Gooey Pot BrowniesThe secret to this recipe lies in Grandma's special homemade pot butter, which is churned by hand using only the best cream from Vermont's finest cows.
Ingredients: 1/2 cup butter4-18 grams of weed1 cup white sugar2 eggs1 teaspoon vanilla extract1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder1/2 cup all-purpose flour1/4 teaspoon salt1/4 teaspoon baking powder
Directions:1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease an 8-inch square pan or whatever else you can commandeer from the common room kitchen.2. In a large saucepan, bring 6 cups of water to a rolling boil. Add the butter and then the weed to the water, allowing the butter to melt and mix in with the weed. This process extracts unwanted cannabinoids like THC and CBD and leaves you with a rich, buttery herbal product. Stir constantly.3. Remove from heat and let sit for 30 minutes. Then stir in sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Beat in the cocoa, flour, salt, and baking powder. Spread batter into prepared pan. Bake in preheated oven for 25 to 30 minutes. Enjoy!
The Health Nut: Cannabis Olive Oil & Vinegar Salad DressingTrying to watch your girlish figure? Grandma wants to help!
Ingredients:1 cup cannabis infused olive oil1/2 cup apple cider vinegar1 fresh squeezed lemon3 garlic cloves, crushed1 green onion2-3 tbsp. balsamic vinegar
Directions:1. Using a blender mix cannabis with olive oil, roughly 1/4 lb per 5 cups of oil. After mixing, let simmer in a crock pot for 2-3 hours. Strain.2. Mix together cannabis olive oil with remaining ingredients adding soy sauce and pepper to taste. Add some salad leaves and Voila!
The Carnivorous Cannabis: Pot RoastWho said Grandma was a vegetarian?
Ingredients:2-4 lb chuck roast8-16 oz carrots2-3 lb potatoes1/2 stalk celery, finely chopped8 oz. pack of peas1/3 cup olive oil2 tsp minced garlic1 1/2 cups red wine3-4 cups beef broth1 tbsp black pepper1 tsp salt1-2 bay leaves1-2 cups seasoned flour (1-2 tsp of marijuana for flavoring)
Directions:1. As if you're actually going to have the patience to cook this. Check back with Grandma when you have a real job.
WARNING: NEVER eat or smoke pot with mold on it. It can cause respiratory problems and other lung complications.
