Students described the effect of media stereotypes and social stigmas as they shared their experiences with eating disorders as part of "Speak Up," a panel discussion on Sunday in Tindle Lounge that began Eating Disorders Awareness Week at the College.
Panelists focused on the labels and loneliness associated with eating disorders, particularly the assumption that people choose to improve their appearance or look more like celebrities.
"Eating disorders are incredibly diverse," Marissa Knodel '09, one of the panelists, said. "For me, it was something very different that didn't necessarily have to do with body image."
Knodel's disorder started when an injury prevented her from exercising, she said, causing her to lose muscle mass and gain weight. What began as simple crunches, push-ups, and squats in her room quickly escalated, she said.
"I kept building on that until it became this routine, this pattern I couldn't get out of," Knodel said.
Paloma '11, another panelist, discussed how the media describes eating disorders as based on superficial concerns.
Some panelists requested to be identified only by their first names due to the sensitive nature of the subject.
"Having that portrayal makes you not want to go up to people because you don't want people to think you're stupid and you don't want people to think you're shallow," Paloma said. "We don't want to be stereotyped this way."
Paloma went on to explain that people with eating disorders are not necessarily trying to emulate celebrities or fit into size-zero jeans. She said depression, wanting to stand out or wanting to disappear can also lead to eating issues.
Loneliness also came up several times during the panel.
"Eating disorders are such a lonely disease because we live our lives making sure that no one else finds out," Paloma said.
After she began purging, Paloma described her hesitation to be near other people for fear they could smell vomit on her hair or hands.
Sensitivity to stereotypes associated with eating disorders also prevented panelists from opening up about their disorders.
"You don't want to tell people because it is incredibly stigmatized," panelist Elyse said. "I don't want to be defined by having an eating disorder."
Panelists also touched on the recovery process.
"My anorexia is not a part of who I am, but my recovery is," Katie Edkins '12 said in a letter that was read aloud at the panel. Edkins was not able to attend the panel due to illness.
The wide variety of disorders makes treatment all the more varied based on each individual, the panelists said.
"Therapy's good ... but in the end it's got to come from you," Knodel said. "You are your own therapy."
Paloma agreed with that sentiment.
"To get better, you really have to want to get better," she said.
Panelists said it is hard to be fully cured from eating disorders.
"I know that my eating disorder will never truly leave me," Edkins said.
Elyse echoed this sentiment.
"I wish it was something that I didn't have to deal with every day," she said.
The panel was organized by Diana Dinescu '09, the Eating Disorders Peer Advisers intern.
"Our goal tonight is to raise awareness and bring hope to those who are seeking help," Dinescu said.
Mostly women attended the all-female panel.
Other activities scheduled for Eating Disorders Awareness Week include "The Thin Line," a one-woman performance scheduled for Wednesday, and "It's Not You! (Why Diets Don't Work)," a talk by a Dick's House staff nutritionist on Friday.
