Every now and then something happens in this community that is so incredible -- so revolutionary and ahead of its time -- that I am actually rendered speechless. For all of the 532-year-old Germans out there, you know what I'm talking about. Remember way back in 1517, when you saw that crafty ol' Martin Luther nailing up those 95 theses? And your first reaction was, like, shock? How crazy was that, right? Basically, this is what I'm trying to get at:
Martin Luther's 95 Theses : Germany in 1517 :: Gabrielle Tudin's "Take Back the (Saturday) Night!" : Dartmouth in Fall 2008
-- SAT analogies (1901-2005)
Tudin's op-ed -- a call to arms, if you will -- is nothing short of perfection. I read it 17 times in one day. I took it everywhere with me: to Collis, to Thayer, to the Registrar, to Silsby waiting to talk about my thesis and to a bathroom in Parkhurst, just to name a few. Every time I read it, something new reared its newly matriculated head.
The article has stuff for everyone. For one, it educated the rest of campus on the lingo used in the freshman class. The '11s, '10s and '09s -- three classes that never experienced the traditional "freshman year" -- finally are let into the loop by way of being educated on lingo such as "'shmen," "'shmob," and of course, the classic "'shmasted." Ms. Tudin never explicitly explains what any of them mean, but by being used three, four and one time, respectively, we begin to figure it out.
In her noble quest to educate this campus, Ms. Tudin slipped in even more Dartmouth-specific words and phrases that those of us who frequent "dorky dance parties at Phi Tau" and have our weekends dominated by "playing Mario Kart on our floormate's Wii" might never hear in our four years in Hanover.
I can't begin to articulate how impressed I am that, by Day Seven of a young girl's college career, she can already know the significance of:
Animal House (not a house for animals interestingly enough, but the movie)
Frat Row
S & S (and that they drive SUVs)
Tri-Kap Dance Parties
'Shmen
'Shmob
'Shmasted (which is, I believe, a 'shmob of 'shmen that are 'shmucked up. I think.)
Chem 5 (short for Chemistry)
Italian 1
Calculus
Econ (short for Economics)
Trippee
Food Court (and most importantly, its extremely popular shortened version, FoCo)
Phi Tau
Late Night EBAs
It's like I just read a page torn from the script of that one cool admissions tour guide. It's Dartmouth product placement at its best. Don't you DARE call it name dropping!
Beyond the hip Dartmouth lingo that emerges from the article, it is clear, without a doubt, that the cool cats of the Class of 2012 have found themselves a leader. When describing the feelings and sentiments of the '12 class with regard to Dartmouth's social scene, Ms. Tudin dropped the "we"-bomb 15 times. Every class needs a leader to speak on its behalf before the first full week of classes is over. In 2005, another of Dartmouth's historic fearless leaders dropped the closely related "our" bomb at Convocation by telling the Class of 2009 and everyone within earshot that Jesus gave his life for all of "our" sins.
These are the leaders, people.
Ms. Tudin is but one woman, yet on her own, it took only one Saturday in college to question and then provide answers for the problems that plague Dartmouth's Saturdays. Like I said earlier, the Class of 2012 -- nay, the College -- has found its leader.
Just to wrap this up, the main point of this article is to state that Gabrielle Tudin is exactly what this campus needs. Unlike Ms. Tudin, I only have the gifts to speak for myself, but I can firmly say to you, Ms. Tudin, that I am your follower. I'm in your corner until the end. Gabrielle, I think it was Renee Zelwegger in "Jerry McGuire" who once said, "You had me at Saturday Night Fever." I'm hooked. My thetan levels are high, and I'm ready to spread your gospel.
Now, I'm not the type to overstep my boundaries, but I have penned my own short manifesto titled "Take Back (October) 2008!," in which I spell out the steps that we as a campus must take so that no more Octobers pass us by. We only have so many Octobers, and people should stop studying.
Some on this campus will vilify Tudin's article. They will dismiss her in six pithy words: "She went to the wrong party." Ms. Tudin, do not let this talk stand in your way. I won't allow it and neither should you.
I would like to say to all the seniors out there that yes, you can learn from those younger than you. Think outside the box and open your mind. I think Ghandi may have once said, "Those who know nothing at all should lead the people." I might have made that up. I'll check.
Rembert is a staff writer for The Mirror.
