Without a doubt, the day off from classes on Monday for Martin Luther King Jr. Day was a welcomed, once-in-a-blue-moon breather from the weekly grind. Over their four-year stint at the Big Green, seniors can count on one hand the number of times that national holidays have left classrooms empty for the day. Why does the College observe so few federal holidays?
Independence Day and Martin Luther King Jr. Day are the only nationwide celebrations for which Parkhurst closes down the College, boosting students with rare doses of extra downtime. Even though oodles of other federal holidays -- such as Veterans Day in November -- shut down the government and rows of shops, the College remains open for business.
Not even Memorial Day is sacred at Dartmouth. Parkhurst shrewdly tacks the late May Americana bonanza onto the already class-free two-day reading period before Spring term exams. Instead of rejoicing with barbeques and baseball, anxiety-laden students fill the library into the wee hours of the night.
Sure, even if the College observes more official holidays, few students will actually devote their surplus spell of leisure time to commemorate the special occasion at hand. They will not fly Old Glory at the top of their non-existent flagpoles. It is clear that most kids would rather take advantage of the time to shred the bunny slopes in Killington or whittle down their NetFlix queue. And to be honest, this is what went down on the "day off" on Monday. What would Ferris Bueller do?
Just like for MLK Day, cancelling classes on Veterans Day and other U.S. holidays is a simple, symbolic gesture that speaks volumes; it would quietly honor America's ranks of heroes, martyrs, and monolithic personalities by distinguishing these special days from the routine grind. Simply recognizing more national holidays at Dartmouth will not cheapen the crucial recognition of the slain civil rights crusader each January. Parkhurst's meager a la carte selections from the smorgasbord of U.S. festivals seem questionable -- either all of them are meaningful enough to honor by closing the College or none of them are.
The bottom line is that the College stands out from its Ivy League peers as one of the stingiest in proclaiming holidays. All the Ancient Eight schools follow Martin Luther King Jr. Day in lockstep -- the only common thread in their varied calendars. From there, Dartmouth is left in the dust. With the entire University closed on Columbus Day, Brown kids have even more spare time to play Ultimate Frisbee and listen to Phish. Columbia cancels classes on Election Day each November.
And even this pales in comparison to the calendar in Cambridge. Harvard tallies no fewer than five -- yes, five -- class-free holidays per annum. Without class, these Bostonians can 'pahrk tha cahr in Hahvahd Yahd' all day long on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Presidents Day, Memorial Day, Columbus Day, and Veterans Day.
Yes, there are obvious arguments against Parkhurst abandoning its strict rationing of official College holidays. Prior to coming to Dartmouth, public school kids have been spoiled with frequent schoolhouse closures thanks to "snow days" and odd-sounding Jewish holidays (Rosh Hashanah? What the hell is that?). Yet back then taxpayers were footing the bill.
An education in Hanover carries a much heftier price tag. Dartmouth families shell out well over $40,000 each year for their children to attend class, not to have more three-day weekends. Arithmetically savvy professors shamelessly guilt trip their pupils over the hundreds of dollars being thrown away for missing even one single class.
But Parkhurst is not always prudish in issuing breaks from the regular class routine. Exhibit A: the Friday of Winter Carnival. For that one occasion, the College more or less orders students to put down their textbooks and pick up their snowboards, take a dip in Occom Pond and soak up the other fabled traditions of the February fete.
X-hours were invented for a reason. Supplementary spats of instruction during the following week seamlessly recover the missed classes of Winter Carnival. No harm done. And this occurs over the particularly crunched nine-week Winter term. Parkhurst has ritualized the cancelling of classes to cater for romps in the snow each year. Why not for Memorial Day and Veterans Day too? Give me a break.