Malakar and his older sister Shyamali together auditioned for American Idol's sixth season in Seattle six months ago. The three judges, in what can retrospectively be called "cosmic irony," deemed his vocal talents better than those of his sibling, who would later be eliminated in the Hollywood round. Unfortunately, the trio's ringing endorsements of Malakar were in no way proper harbingers of the insanity that would be born of him. Randy Jackson now wishes he could un-dawg every compliment, Paula Abdul accepts that every week she will be danced with during a mediocre song and Simon Cowell's resentment has evolved from patronizing British dislike into full-on seething American hate.
Six months shy of his eighteenth birthday, Malakar has only recently shed the jitters and shyness that defined his early-season persona and is now in AI's Top Eight, having been out of the Bottom Three for three weeks. He has already secured a place on the end-of-season tour and become the most cocksure contestant on the show, cultivating legions of fans, known as Fanjayas, all over the world, and inspiring a bevy of fan sites.
The only problem is that Malakar is the most dubiously talented person on the show this season.
"I cannot believe he is still in the competition," Audrey Gradzewicz '10 said. "It's not that I ever thought American Idol was all that respectable, but Sanjaya just makes a mockery of singing. He sounds like my drunken uncle on St. Patty's. And for my drunken uncle, I can make excuses."
Once the competition's soft-spoken and pitiful black sheep, Malakar has morphed into a tongue-in-cheek fan favorite, following in the footsteps of most people who can't sing but like to pretend they can by creating an unforgettable character. Annihilating with ease the decades of badness wrought by mullets and man-curls, Malakar has become more memorable for his follicular zaniness than for his actual pipes, which most find emotionless or, at very least, shaky.
"When something is so bad it's good, it's hard to quantify it, but you'll know it when you see it," said Keith Olbermann in a March 28 "Countdown" segment which aired the day after Malakar famously sported a "ponyhawk," -- a cross between a traditional Mohawk and the mane of a fashion-blind Spartan horse. "What Malakar stands for is now hotly debated ... [But] despite another sub-basement effort from his pipes, [he] will probably sail through to the next rounds based solely on his 'yikes!'"
Olbermann is correct, of course. Malakar is neither deaf nor blind, and is presumably now feeding off the attention his on-stage antics grant him. He is reveling in his immunity from the acid wit of Cowell (who is visibly perturbed by this whole thing) and in the support he's getting from the American public, which now seems not to care if he can't remember the words to a 90-second tune or opens his arms and shouts "Welcome to the Universe of Sanjaya!" after shamelessly butchering what was once an enjoyable song.
But the bigger and more pressing question is: What is Keith Olbermann, nightly anchor of MSNBC, doing talking about a show best known for its female contestants' sex scandals and for thoughtlessly unleashing Clay Aiken upon the world? The answer is that Olbermann is only following a recent trend. Malakar is so glaringly bad compared to the other contestants this season that the very glimmer of his badness makes the press drool. Anchors on your local bottom-feeder network and well-versed veterans alike are reporting salacious Malakar-related news bytes: how much his family loves him, how much Ryan Seacrest hates him, how much the other limelight-deprived contestants despise him and how serious Simon is when he says he'll quit if Malakar becomes this season's Idol.
But in my opinion, there's no reason to frown upon these unceasing "news stories" about the sable-tressed Malakar. Counting U.S. ratings alone, 2007's American Idol has attracted more viewers -- 37.7 million and counting -- than have any of its previous seasons, including past seasons' uber-hyped finales. These new viewers are not being drawn by the show's ever-inventive formula; as usual, this batch of contestants features a few soulful divas, one Justin Timberlake wannabe and one piece of leggy eye candy who likes to sit on stools. This season showcases something only available in your funniest nightmare: someone of both William Hung-esque vocal ability and the mane-swishing powers of Tina Turner.
Of course, the real star of this season's American Idol might not be Malakar at all. It just may be the site that, in many ways, is propelling him forward. VoteForTheWorst.com used to sit in its unknown corner of cyberspace. This season it has transformed into the international hub of all affairs Sanjaya, garnering widespread notoriety. The site's name explains its goal, to unite and encourage people to vote for the least talented contestant on every season of AI -- and Malakar is the beloved mascot of season six, championed for his androgynous looks and "cojones of brass." And he is on the verge of becoming its longest-running dark horse to date.
"American Idol is not about singing at all; it's about making good reality TV and enjoying the cheesy, guilty pleasure of watching bad singing," the site explains. "We agree that a fish out of water is entertaining, and we want ... to help the amusing antagonists stick around. [It's] a golden opportunity to make a more entertaining show."
VoteForTheWorst.com has been threatened with legal action, bitterly denounced by AI producers and officially endorsed by shock jock Howard Stern. It's been discussed on CNN and broken into by hackers, even given an on-air shout-out by one of this season's contestants. (This contestant was voted off next.) To VFTW's defenders, American Idol deserves this thorn in its side. After all, how does every season of the show open? You got it -- with a couple of weeks devoted to highlighting America's most outlandishly talent-deficient crooners.
"I hated [Sanjaya] at first, but at this point it's just gotten funny and entertaining," Joshua Jacobson '09 said. "I don't hope he makes it too far, but it'd be great to see him stick around for a few more weeks, just to laugh at him."
