It's that time of the week again. Yes, they're still letting me write a weekly column, so sorry to disappoint all of the Tim Kidera proponents out there who support his disappointingly weak ad hominem attacks. What's that? It's Tom Kidera, not Tim? Oh well. I think I've given him enough ink already, so I'll just leave little Timmy alone and let him make more hard-guy blunt references.
In sports news, this past weekend saw Joe Paterno miss his first game on the sidelines since 1886 and the Blue Jackets (5-9-1) fire head coach Gerard Gallant. On his release from the Blue Jackets, Gallant said, "I should have seen that one coming. You think my refusing to wear those stupid blue blazers has anything to do with this? Maybe it's because we've slipped into last place in the Central Division earlier than we thought. I blame the mascot."
In hometown news, I am approaching unprecedented territory in my fantasy football league. My team has recently been on a Colts-esque winning streak and cemented yet another victory this week. I'm just hoping that my team plays like the Colts for the rest of the season, and then plays like anyone but the Colts come playoff time.
Also, before I forget, allow me to extend my warmest congratulations to the Dartmouth football team for winning in storybook fashion on Senior Day this past Saturday. If you're not going to have a winning season, you might as well win the games that really count, and a Senior Day victory must be about the best thing to wash down the Homecoming loss and end the season on a high note.
And now, awards:
Most Futile QB Switch of the Weekend: Washington Redskins
This is just sad. I used to hate the Redskins and Joe Gibbs, and I used to hate the fact that there are no "coordinators" on the Redskins coaching staff and instead dozens of "assistant coaches" roaming around the sidelines. But this season, it's gotten to the point where I just pity the Skins. Jason Campbell, who has only played in the preseason at the professional level, has been announced as the starter for this week's game. I'm sure he's had plenty of time to study and learn from an old warhorse like Mark Brunell, who to the best of my knowledge, was doing his best 2005 Brett Favre impersonation for the past nine games and championed the Redskins to a stellar 3-6 record. To be honest, I'm still waiting to see who ends up with more: Redskins with quarterbacks or John Daly with wives.
Smelliest Sock of the Weekend: Bill Belichick's Left Tube Sock
Being in hostile territory here in New England, I did not want to come across as too strong of a Patriots hater initially. But now that WOE has run for a few weeks, I think it's time for me to come out of the closet: I hate the New England Patriots. One hundred percent New Jersey hatred. The kind of hate that makes everyone from Jersey roll down their windows and give the finger and an "F-You!" to anyone who dares drive below 80 on the Turnpike.
Trust me, it's intense, and as much as I love that the Jets won a huge conference game and that the Patriots now have a losing record at home, I was too nauseated by the site of Bill Belichick reaching into his grimy tube sock and pulling out the red challenge flag to celebrate. The man honestly keeps the flag in his sock, and, to my knowledge, is the only coach filthy enough to do so. This is the same man who wears hoodies to work that look like they've never seen a washing machine, so don't even try and tell me that his socks don't stink like the AD basement.
Most Absurd Overreaction of the Weekend: Bobby Knight "Chin Flip"
Bobby Knight is one of my favorite people in all of sports. Maybe ever. I've never really made an official list, but if I did, I'm pretty sure he, Lou Piniella, Don Mattingly and Jesus would be fighting for the top spot. That's probably why I was so outraged by the media circus the Texas Tech basketball team has had to endure ever since coach Knight flipped the chin of sophomore forward Michael Prince on Monday night.
Given Knight's aggressive history with players, chairs and referees alike, I expected to see video showing coach Knight smacking Prince upside the head or something of that nature. But the video was exactly the opposite. Knight was clearly telling the sophomore to keep his head up after he walked off the court with his head down, and offered words of encouragement to the youngster -- a far cry from the alleged "incident" the media is making it out to be. Someone please tell Bobby to watch out: the Worldwide Leader is watching.