Entertainment News

by Compiled by David Klein | 6/27/03 5:00am

1)The other day when I went to see the Hulk, this dude wouldn't shut up and kept yelling stuff like "Hulk, you need to chill" and "Hulk, you rule." Finally I turned to him and said, "Listen, man, you don't need to scream. He can't hear you." The guy was very nice about the whole matter, and immediately apologized to Mr. Ferrigno.

2)A group of celebrities took time out of their busy schedules this past week to entertain the troops in Iraq. Kid Rock was there, handing out DVDs of his film "Biker Boyz" while Rebecca Romain Stamos "shocked and awed" the troops, passing out copies of "Femme Fatale." This event was truly historic, as these were reported to be the biggest bombs the U.S. has dropped into Iraq since the war began.

3)Clay Aiken finally beat out "American Idol" Ruben Studdard, as his rendition of "This is the Night" became the number one single in the country. Aiken proved once again that in America, the runner-up ultimately finds his way to the top.

4)Speaking of "American Idol," Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini's movie, from "Kelly to Justin," pulled in less than $2 million at the box office last week. While some blame the financial woes on the contrived plot and the couple's half-assed acting and mediocre singing ability, many point to the film's paltry running time, which clocks in at a mere 15 minutes.

5)In his recent "E! True Hollywood Story" pint-sized actor Emanuelle Lewis claimed that he hates being a man stuck in a boy's body, unlike like his friend Michael Jackson who seems to enjoy it.

6)Old school rockers Styx recently embarked on their latest tour and I, unfortunately, bore witness to the tired spectacle. While I was bored out of my mind, the woman next to me was having the time of her life, and midway through "Mr. Roboto" she took off her shirt and threw her bra on stage. This marked the first time in 21 years that I saw my mother's breasts.

7)"Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" star Demi Moore is now officially dating Aston Kutcher, who is 15 years her junior. The two are already signed up to appear in the third installment of "Angels" which will be directed by Woody Allen.

8)On Monday, FOX decided to pass on "NYPD Blue" creator Steven Bochco's latest drama, "NYPD 2069." Executives realized that it would take a hell of a lot more than 63 years to erase the memory of Dennis Franz's ass.

9)"Real World: Las Vegas" cast members Trichelle and Arissa are scheduled to appear in the August edition of Playboy. Just like on TV, the two will once again expose to the world they're boobs.

10)And finally, author J.K Rowling made history when her book "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" sold a record 3.8 million copies in its first week. What's even more astonishing than the book's sales is the fact that Harry dies at the end.