Freud couldn't do it.
"The great question which I have not been able to answer despite my 30 years in research into the feminine soul is, what does a woman want?"
If the man with arguably the greatest insight ever into the workings of the human mind couldn't understand women, then what chance do us poor college students have? Absolutely none.
Anybody with even a rudimentary knowledge of human physiology could explain to you that boys and girls are quite different, in several important ways. However, this difference runs much deeper than mere anatomy. Males and females have entirely different thought patterns and processes, from childhood all the way to old age. Societal imprinting even mandates these differences. Boys are encouraged to play with their Ninja Turtle and G. I. Joe action figures (that's right, they're action figures, not dolls!), and to start with sports at as young an age as possible, while girls are given Barbies to groom and clothe and are taught to be "lady-like." Thus, from our very beginnings as individual thinkers, our parents and other elders tell us that boys and girls are as different as can be, creating an even further rift between the sexes than naturally exists.
Of course, every now and then there exists a bit of a "crossover," a person who doesn't clearly fit into society's masculine and feminine patterns. I'm not speaking about sexual preference here -- in my mind, that's a different issue entirely -- but rather, about so-called "sensitive" males and "tomboy" girls. I, myself, belong to the former group, having been raised by intellectual parents (both teachers) who cared little for sports, and having a physicality far more suited for sitting and reading poetry than for taking a five-mile hike. Essentially, I have no interest or skill in athletics, either watching or playing, and as such I have often felt myself, both by choice and by force, on the outside looking in at my own sex. Perhaps because of my penchant for games more mental than physical in nature, my best friends for most of my life have always been female. Strange as it may seem, I can often identify with girls more than I can with guys, partially because, on the whole, I've been around them more. Being a tremendous sap and a romantic at heart also serves to separate me from my own sex, since I'm often sickened by the methods that are employed by guys in order to get girls, and can't understand how sex and a sense of possessing valuable property in the form of a girl could ever seem more desirable than real emotion, caring, understanding and love.
Which leaves me as quite the mess -- I identify with girls yet don't understand them (the latter seemingly a qualifying factor for being male), and I can't identify with guys even though I am one (excepting the aforementioned qualifying factor).
What I mean to say by all this, in my own inimitably muddled way, is that I like to think that I have something of a unique perspective on life. I really can't understand either sex!
Recently, however, I came across an interesting fact. While trying to deal with the latest in a long line of girl-problems, I consulted a female friend of mine for advice. I was shocked to find that the advice that she gave me, in an e-mail, was essentially an organized, codified form of my own thoughts and conclusions on the issue! My initial exhilaration at the fact that I finally understood the female mind was quickly squashed by the realization of the truth -- it wasn't that I understood girls; it was that girls, just like guys, didn't understand girls. Tying this together with my own first-hand knowledge that guys don't understand other guys, I finally came to the ultimate truth -- romantically speaking, nobody understands anybody else, at least not at our age!
So where does this leave us? Are we all supposed to just walk through life never truly understanding anybody, except (possibly) ourselves? Do we just accept the fact that we can't understand each other, and continue our confusing and frustrating relations with the opposite sex?
NO! We communicate!
This is what I propose: We talk to each other. Guys and girls, expressing how they feel, one on one, or in groups, just explaining where they're coming from and why they do what they do, in order to create understanding. Romantic life and love itself would be so much easier if only we knew just that little bit more about the opposite sex. Meet in person, talk on the phone, write blitzes, whatever, but just communicate, openly and honestly, explaining what we truly want from each other (and, yes, for the moment at least, I'm putting aside my cynical belief that most guys would just lie about what they want, anyway) and how we feel about each other, even if the way we feel is something we know the other person wouldn't want to hear. Real honesty will avoid confusion and doubt, and, although perhaps momentarily painful, will ultimately lead to greater future happiness.
So there you have it, the key to healthy relationships and greater understanding between the sexes, all in one simple word -- communication.
