An unfortunate trend is emerging in the United States. At a time when Americans are particularly prone to terrorist attacks at home and abroad, the majority of Americans seem to be possessed with ideas of gallant and fearless revenge rather than ideas of a safe and secure life. Our leaders and representatives in government babble about the might of the United States military, economy, and people, and how America will someday respond (violently) to the atrocities of Sept. 11. President Bush updates the nation daily, giving the same basic message every day: "We've deployed so many troops here and there. They can run but they cannot hide. Justice will prevail. We now have the brother of the neighbor of one of the terrorists in custody "
In comparison to the incessant talk of revenge, little has been said about how to prevent such attacks from ever happening again; moreover, what has been said does not come close to what is necessary. While we spew about the best way to skin Osama bin Laden and everyone who knows him, we forget that he and his twisted brethren are still functioning and are still devising new ways to destroy the United States. And because we forget this, we forget that we are all still very vulnerable.
We must now focus on how to prevent terrorist attacks in the future. The best way to prevent an attack like that of the Sept. 11 is to start by improving security on our nation's airlines. Airplane security should no longer be walking through a 20-year-old metal detector while an inept "security guard" working the machine scratches her behind while looking at the interesting piece of gum on her shoe. Airplane security could be drastically improved with the simple implementation of an air marshal program. For every passenger on the plane, there should be one air marshal carrying a weapon of his or her choice. With three-dozen armed air marshals on a plane, no would-be hijacker would even dare to sneeze. And to ensure complete safety, passengers should be allowed to carry guns on the plane, as guaranteed by the Bill of Rights, allowing them to protect themselves in an airplane just as they can on most streets of America. Finally, we must require other countries' airlines to implement these crucial security measures as well, and threaten those who do not abide by our sensible policies with military retaliation.
But it is important to realize that terrorists aren't stupid enough to use the same methods to terrorize our nation as they did on Sept. 11. They will probably always be able to pass through our impenetrable defenses and evade our excellent intelligence gathering groups and execute their monstrous plans. The only way to prevent terrorist acts is to prevent the terrorists from entering our country in the first place: from now on, there must be no way for terrorists to enter our country, live on our streets, and kill our people. The best way to prevent terrorists from entering the United States is to completely seal off the country from the lesser people of the world. We cannot allow the degenerates of non-American countries to enter this utopia. Diplomatic ties should be cut, roads to Canada and Mexico should be sealed, and a gigantic coastal wall should be built in the Pacific and the Atlantic to block people from coming here and to show how powerful we are.
But there is a problem with this as well. What if there are already terrorists in our country? Sealing us off from the garbage dump that is the rest of the world would actually seal those terrorists in! The only option to solve this problem would be to get those people out by rounding them up and putting them on some unimportant island like Australia. It would be quite easy, in fact, to simply gather together all Muslims, all people with beards, all people with turbans, all people from South Asia, all people with brownish skin, all people with accents and ship them out of this country.
The list of the sensible measures needed to ensure the security of our nation goes on: Islam and other inherently violent religions should be obliterated from earth because they are the only things in this world conducive to killing and terror attacks; South Asians must wear identification tags at all times and when they come within 10,000 miles of the United States they should be terminated immediately; buildings should no longer be taller than 100 feet so that planes can no longer hit them; the FBI, CIA, INS, and every other three-letter agency should be able to ignore the silly laws that restrain them from finding out everything about everybody on the planet Nothing should stop us from defending America from those who want to destroy it -- even if it means we end up destroying it ourselves.
