To the Editor:
Let us for a moment consider the heartfelt words included in Zeta Psi's response to the College's decision to derecognize the fraternity:
"Psi Epsilon of Zeta Psi is a fine organization made up of excellent young men, many of whom will undoubtedly go on to be leaders in the legal, scientific and business communities. It has made significant contributions to Dartmouth College. It intends to continue to do so in the future."
Bravo, gentleman. No doubt you will indeed become the future leaders of America, as our "great" nation is fully endowed with a host of amoral men of distinction, all of whom are eagerly awaiting your addition to the fold of ignominious brotherhood. Most likely, you will even be applauded by many of your fun-loving male co-workers for your nationally reported Zeta Psi hijnks.
How sad that you had to wait so long for your gem of a newsletter to become public. Imagine the possibilities if only the "Special Manwhore Edition" had been unearthed sooner? You could have proclaimed your excellence months ago. All this wasted time. Pity. Perhaps your mothers could have read such horrific statements over Thanksgiving dinner, and laughed jovially at your innocent (albeit intended for private use only) fun with your grandmothers, aunts and, let's not forget, your sisters.
Thank you so much for doing the good work, and fighting the good fight. America can sleep easier now, knowing the men of Zeta Psi's intention to continue making significant contributions to Dartmouth and to our nation.
