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Gun control -- George W. Bush has an interesting approach to solving the gun problem that is currently afflicting our country. Instead of eliminating guns from everybody, W supports taking guns away from criminals and offenders. Good idea. Now tell us how you're going to do that. I'm not really sure about this, but if a criminal really wants a gun, I'm guessing he can probably get one without going to a gun shop, most likely by buying or stealing a weapon from someone who legally has a gun. Also, W's pick of Dick "Cop Killer" Cheney is a little strange for someone who constantly touts his support of police. Cheney was one of the few congressmen who decided that bullets made specifically for piercing bulletproof vests are necessary enough so that they may be sold to all Americans. Finally, and most distressing, some Bush supporters have commented that had teachers at Columbine been armed with guns, there would have been fewer victims. Taking this idea just a tad farther, one could argue that the children at the Jewish community center near Los Angeles would have been safer if they had been packing heat.
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Smirk -- Why is it that no matter what W is talking about, there is always some kind of goofy grin on his face? Is he hopped up on something all the time? Or does he just find amusing that there are 44 million uninsured Americans? Does he even know that there are uninsured Americans?
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Environment -- Under George W., the city of Houston has surpassed L.A. as the city with the most pollution. Can't say much more than that.
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Ignorance -- I'm not quite sure how this happened, but I guess advances in science should be credited for this one. Somehow Potatoeman Dan Quayle's brain has seeped into W's skull. Perhaps the only negative effect of having George Sr. for a father is stupidity is transferred to his offspring. In any case, Bush has proven himself king of presidential ignorance. It's difficult for all of us to know the prime ministers of a few countries, but as a presidential candidate who has nothing else to do all day except track his father's footsteps, George W. really should know at least something about the world. He should also know that when a microphone is on, PEOPLE CAN HEAR YOU if you are talking near it.
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Education -- Let's see. Suppose a school is doing poorly. Should we give it more money, or should we take money away? Hmmm Maybe W believes that teachers teach better when they're getting paid less. Oh wait, that doesn't really work does it Here's a better idea, at least in W's mind. Testing students every year sounds like an excellent plan, doesn't it? That way, students can learn half as much as they would without testing, because they are constantly preparing for the standardized tests. Out with important problem solving skills and general methodology and in with being able to answer narrow, prescribed questions. That will surely help kids later in life.
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Fortunate Son -- W has been given everything he has although I think he actually worked once as an exotic dancer down in the slums of New Haven while in college. But other than that, he has gotten everything from other people. Wait I lied. He actually wasn't an exotic dancer. I guess that brings the grand total of things he has accomplished by himself to zero. But don't you think he'd make a damn fine exotic dancer?
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Budget -- How about we give money back to the people? Yippee! How about we give money to the rich at the expense of the poor? Yippee! How about canceling important government programs and using the money to build stadiums with no obstructed view seats around death chambers? Yippee!
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Ears -- I figure that if Gore's bored demeanor is fair game, so are W's ears. They remind me of open car doors.
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Civil Rights -- Somebody needs to tell W that homosexuals are people too. This is something he forgets too often, despite his Kompassionate Konservative slogan. Is there any reasoning behind W's belief that hate crime laws shouldn't protect homosexuals? Perhaps he is waiting for a few more Matthew Shepards to be killed so he can gain support for an NRA sponsored Arm-Homosexuals-With-Lots-Of-Guns-A-Thon so they can protect themselves. His support of the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy makes me wonder if he fears gay soldiers will trade fatigues for pretty dresses and make-up in the midst of battle. The sad part is that his problem with homosexuals in the military is eerily reminiscent of the 1940s when many Americans fought against the desegregation of the armed forces. Perhaps it's going to take a president with backbone to issue an executive order allowing gays to serve free and openly to defend our country.
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The name -- Ack.
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