My name is Linda and I like boy bands. Something tells me I should be ashamed of myself for admitting that. I feel like some sort of social degenerate, as if I am the type of person who helps blind people only halfway across the street or something. But that little phrase actually represents a very big step in my journey towards self-awareness.
Just a year ago, I would not have been able to say that to myself, let alone put it in print. A year ago, if someone had asked me to listen to a Backstreet Boys or 'N Sync CD, I would have said something snide like, "I only listen to music, thank you." But something happened to me last summer. All of a sudden, I Wanted It That Way. I didn't even know what That Way was, but I had to have It, whatever It was. And the only way for me to get It was to sneak into my younger sister's room when no one else was home.
Things got worse when I had to come back to school for Sophomore Summer. I had no idea of how I was going to get It while I was here. I quickly began to wake up in the morning and want It. Then I missed It while I was at work or class. Soon, I couldn't follow people's conversations because all I could think about was when I could get it It next. Then, I started mixing. I moved from It, to other variations of It. The low point was when my roommate walked in on me singing my heart out to It, and I still tried to deny how much I needed It. I was in a bad place.
Faced with such obvious evidence, I finally chose to embrace my character smudge. This clarity comes just in time, since ABC has just started airing a show called "Making the Band." The show is not any more complicated than its title implies; it tracks a boy band from start to finish. The large and rather unattractive man who was the force behind the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync decided that the world needs one more boy band. I think I speak for everyone when I say, "Damn right we do!"
Boy band fans, fear not. This is the show we haven't allowed ourselves to dream about. Not only do we get some more catchy music, but we also get the stories. We get to learn for ourselves who the quiet one is, and which guy is the fashion plate. We can watch them party, we can watch them sleep, we can even watch them battle the emotions of being miles away from their families and their girlfriends. Sigh.
Other than the show's addictive qualities, I realize that not only is the show pretty harmless, but the whole boy band craze itself doesn't pose much of a threat. So why does everyone hate boy bands? It seems to me that the boy bands aren't the problem -- the people in them are nice enough and relatively humble -- none of them have claimed to be bigger than Jesus or anything. Everyone I know who ranks on these bands says something along the lines of "All of those bands are the same. What's so great about a bunch of guys dressing the same and singing the same kinds of music?"
But everyone forgets that this country thrives on living life according to already successful formulas. Millions of people, all dressed in some variation of a business suit, trek to work each morning and sit at their desks. But if I were to claim that most of them were extraneous, because, hey, who really needs that many paper-pushers, the corporate drones would be highly offended. Why the sudden objection to similarity?
There is also a wide spectrum of people who feel that music is only valid if it carries some sort of a message, which is another interesting point. I'm all for music with a message -- but most of the "message"-carrying music that comes out these days is so self-indulgently filled with angst that it gets pretty tired. The bands that sullenly trudge through set after set of introspective musical meditations are, more often than not, labeled "talented." What is so horrible about people who choose to sing music that dares to be a little fun? How uptight have we become if boy bands are suddenly the enemy?
I am not claiming that these groups will be around forever -- I doubt that you'll see any 50-year-old Backstreet Boys hobbling around on stage at a reunion tour. It's entirely possible that the same groups who are selling millions of CDs this week will be gone by this time next year. I am not even claiming that their music is good. Actually, I think of boy band music in the same way that I think of this very column: is it a literary masterpiece? I think not. But am I having fun -- sure, and that's fine.
So I say: Loosen up, folks! Stop taking yourselves and everything around you so seriously. And definitely don't let a bunch of singing guys get you down. They aren't trying to hurt you, I promise. All they want to do is sing their music; if you want to listen, good for you. And if you need someone to validate your desire to blast some Backstreet Boys, or the like, from your stereo, come find me.
Just don't find me from 9:30-10 on Friday nights. I'll be busy "Making the Band."
