The hype for "Armageddon" began about eight months ago with a 30-second trailer that showed no actors, no sets, merely a shot of two shuttles rising into space. The ominous voiceover told of an asteroid the size of Texas headed for earth. The names Bruce Willis and Jerry Bruckheimer were mentioned, and so was a date: July 1st, 1998. It seemed like it was a long way to go, but almost an entire year and another asteroid movie later, the date finally arrived and "Armageddon" hit theaters (no pun intended).
"Armageddon" does not challenge its audience with a twisting plot. In fact, there is barely any plot at all. There is an asteroid headed for Earth and only Bruce Willis' all-American oil drilling crew can save the planet. Just like in "Deep Impact," they must land on the asteroid, tunnel down and explode a nuclear weapon inside the rock.
"Armageddon" is a real "movie" movie -- slick and entertaining. This is the summer, and the key to a successful summer flick like this is giving the audience thrills, laughs and making them care about what happens to the characters sent through the $100 million dollar gamut of dangers. In these respects, "Armageddon" succeeds thoroughly.
Director Michael Bay serves up cliche after cliche, neat devices to trigger audience sentiment (Ben Affleck the wanna-be son to Bruce Willis, an oil driller with a son he hasn't known, and so on). Call me a sucker, but it works, and works well. There was more than one shamefaced sobbing audience member in the 12:30 matinee I came out of.
It is in this crucial area where "Armageddon" proves its superiority to "Deep Impact." "Deep Impact" fails because no one gives a hoot about Tea Leoni or Elijah Wood. They're annoying, overly idealistic, ineffective and generally unsympathetic. In some ways it just all comes down to casting. Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck are simply good-looking, incredibly charismatic actors.
Even the rag-tag pack of sentiment-engendering oil workers are immediately quirky and likable. One of the movie's funniest scenes comes when Willis presents the team's demands on the government in exchange for their service. "And one more thing. They don't want to pay taxes again. Ever," says Willis. The beautiful Liv Tyler is another incredibly endearing cliche, the headstrong daughter whose daddy just can't realize she's grown up. She pulls it off because the audience just loves her.
Further, much of "Armageddon's" genius lies in the heroes' everyman charm. For the most part they are average guys, blue collar working-class types who happen to have the right skills for the job. They're the ones telling the authorities how to get things right. They're doing what the government can't do.
As usual, producer Bruckheimer ("Top Gun," "The Rock") forces his incredibly idealistic, patriotic and slightly jingoistic vision of America down the audience's throat. Still, it's hard not to fall for it. The combination of Bruckheimer's stirring music and visuals of tough men walking in slow motion seems to get me every time. It's always inspiring to watch the government and the military run to the rescue through the eyes of Bruckheimer.
"Armageddon" is well worth your hard-earned moviegoing cash. If you want incredible effects, solid action, and some sentimental patriotism, your boat has come into town. A better movie to see right after the Fourth of July, I could not imagine. So if you're willing to suspend your cynicism a little, head on down to your local theater. For fans of any of the principle actors or Bruckheimer, you will not be disappointed. It's one great summer ride.
