Do you ever wonder? We all do, but I seem to be doing it a lot these days. Maybe it's the four classes I am taking, since my body cannot physically and mentally handle over a dozen hours of lectures and discussions a week. So here I am at the computer lab, writing a column instead of doing that paper. Here are some of my random thoughts, hence the title of the column ...
We've all seen pictures of our primitive ancestors from books and magazines. Cro-Magnum men, cave men, whatever you call them -- they all have one thing in common. They were very hairy. As I look at the illustration of the evolution of mankind, and I look at the person next to me, I notice that the person next to me is not as hairy as the caveman.
It seems to me that as we evolve, we grow less hairy. I admit there are some really hairy people today, and I've seen some of them. A guy I know shaves three times a day, or he'll practically grow a beard in a day. I've seen another guy whose back was so hairy that I thought it was carpeted. But, generally, we don't have as much hair as our ancestors.
Is baldness or lack of hair a sign of progress? If so, why are we paying thousands of dollars to grow hair using stuff like Rogaine and other drugs? You oughta go to China where they have dozens of supposed miracle cures for baldness. Since some ethnicities and races have less hair than others, are they superior? Will we all grow bald? Sacre bleu!
I think only some people look good bald -- like Patrick Stewart. Some people have strange bumps and crevices on their heads, so I doubt they would look very good. Their heads would probably look pretty beaten up or mangled. I try to imagine myself with a shiny head and absolutely no hair at all. Scary thought.
My friends and I were discussing why we are all taller than our parents and grandparents. It seems that the average height of people increases annually. People used to be pretty short -- just look at the doorways to old houses. My grandma thinks that people shrink as they become old, so that may explain it.
So if the current trend holds, people will become taller and taller. And, according to my last theory, they will all be bald. Just imagine, everybody in the future will be really tall and bald. Giant bald people roaming the earth. Wow ...
I have a devout Catholic friend with whom I sometimes discuss philosophy and the nature of God. She's an open-minded person and religious at the same time, so we have some interesting discussions. But we usually end up telling each other how wrong the other person is. I remember talking to her about the afterlife once.
When people think of the afterlife, they picture hell, heaven or purgatory. Hell is commonly thought of as a place with fire and lava with demons and devils torturing us for eternity. Not very pleasant. Heaven is supposed to be a paradise where everybody is happy. Purgatory is supposed to be a boring place where the average Joe goes.
According to my friend, heaven is not necessarily a place, but rather a state of peacefulness and happiness, since a person in heaven will be near God. I told her that I think people just die and become dirt. She told me I was depressing her. Then I told her that our mutual Jewish friend told me that everybody goes to heaven according to Judaism, which sounds pretty darn terrific.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, obviously. But imagine the type of people who will be in heaven. There are some people who are so good, moral and ethical that you can't help but be annoyed at them. You know, the type of people who are so incredibly sweet and nice that you look like the devil in comparison. Some are boring, and most are pretty dull and not the biggest party animals I know. Imagine the type of people who'll be in hell. Probably all the rock stars and movie stars. And all the politicians, crooks and celebrities. Sure, they'll be burning in hell, but they'll probably throw one heck of a party.
I intend to call on a priest or an archbishop, if I have lots of money, for a death-bed confession. And I intend to be baptized, just in case. You never know. I sound pretty disrespectful, right? I know.
