Here we go, folks. No, your eyes do not deceive you, the pro basketball season is actually coming to a close. Who cares that basketball is a winter sport and we are heading into the summer. The NBA playoffs start this weekend and this is March Madness, right? No, wait, that is how fans describe the college basketball championships where athletes still play for the love of the game and not to position themselves for a better contract next season.
Okay, I guess I am being a little harsh. There are still Karl Malones, Michael Jordans and David Robinsons out there. But, many basketball fans will agree that the NBA is nothing but a bunch of arrogant, overpaid, glory-hungry superjocks.
But, if this is true, why do people turn out in millions to watch the NBA playoffs? Heck, even as I'm writing this column I know I am going to tune into a game or two these next couple weeks. I know, I know ... it's the same reason bad movies like "Congo" make millions. We are all suckers when it looks like something has the potential to add excitement to our lives. But, while I'm a cynic at heart, I do still believe we can make this whole playoff thing work. All it will take is a little planning.
My quest is to help you maximize your NBA playoff excitement. This year we, the fans, must beat the system. Don't let yourself be conned into watching a meaningless first round game or even any of the Bulls games before the Championship series. TNT and NBC will try to trick you with mind-boggling graphics and twisted statistics so that you think things are going to be wildly exciting. But, we know that's just a marketing ploy, now don't we? Here's how we rise above the confusion.
First and foremost, we must look at this weekend's matchups. In the Eastern Conference you have the Nets vs. Bulls, Knicks vs. Heat, Cavaliers vs. Pacers and Hawks vs. Hornets. At first glance these look like some good matchups. Wrong. Right away you can eliminate some potential for disappointment by making sure you don't watch any of the Bulls or Hawks first round games. Charlotte has not beaten the Hawks all season and the Bulls, well they're the Bulls and they are just not going to lose in the first round. Now the other two matchups do have the potential to be exciting with the Knicks playing without Patrick Ewing and Larry Bird coaching the Pacers like an old wizard. But, resist the urge to get involved early. Wait. Hold out until game five if it comes. If it doesn't come, then these series did not live up to their potential.
In the Western Conference we have the Rockets vs. Jazz, Timberwolves vs. Sonics, Blazers vs. Lakers and Spurs vs. Suns. Put simply, these are some weak first-round games. If you're someone who bets, you better put your money on the Sonics, Lakers, Spurs and Jazz. Okay, the Rockets may give the Jazz a run for their money if Barkley and Drexler are allowed to play with their walkers ... But, overall we, as fans, must treat these first round Western Conference games appropriately ... by ignoring them.
Getting the hang of this yet? Pretty simple stuff in the first round, but it will get tougher as these playoffs drag out. What we need is a comprehensive game plan. While each person must figure out their own approach to the rest of these playoffs I have only a few suggestions. The Bulls are good, no, very good. They are going to make a strong run for the title. Knowing this, don't ever make the mistake of watching one of their games unless it is one of the last two games of a series. Treat the Jazz the same way.
Even more importantly though, do not watch the first half of any game. This is one of the things I have painfully come to learn over the years. In the NBA nobody cares about the first half. It's basically just a warm-up for the second half. Sometimes one team will pull away in the first half, but this will not last, I can guarantee you. The grace of the NBA gods will shine down on the losing team and by the fourth quarter the game will be nice and close. Why does this always happen? Well, this makes the ratings people very happy, and that's what really matters isn't it? (Oops, fans aren't supposed to say things like that, sorry.)
Now you have some suggestions on how to approach these next few weeks of NBA madness. I know there is nothing in here worthy of writing a book about, but I think simple little changes in our NBA playoff habits could help our overall well-being. Hey, and with a little luck these next couple of weeks just might turn out to be exciting. Imagine that.
