If you ask a Dartmouth student to tell you something positive about the school's social scene, responses will vary greatly. People may mention one of the "big" weekends, the frat scene, events at the Hop, or something more specialized. But, I guarantee you, extremely few, if any students, will respond to your question by saying, "The dating scene is great!" If they did, you might think that either a) they are really lucky or b)they are really insane.
I was first introduced to the dating (or lack thereof) problem during my DOC trip. My trip leader informed us all that nobody dates here, she told us that people either randomly hook up or get involved in serious relationships. I was not particularly glad to hear this. I personally feel that hook-ups that occur while one or both parties are under the influence of alcohol are, in addition to being dangerous, not exactly great ways to develop lasting meaningful relationships. As for serious relationships, I wondered how people develop them if nobody dates. I figured that my trip leader was wrong.
Now that I have been here for a year, I must say that I agree with her. Ok, maybe "nobody" is a little strong. I think that only 99.9 percent of the student population doesn't date. Lots of us complain about it, but few people do something about it. Of course, the easiest solution to the lack of dating problem, is to ... DATE!! "What? Oh no, not the D word!" you might be thinking. "But it has been so long, I've forgotten how!" Well read on to learn the 7 easy steps to dating at Dartmouth ...
Step 1: Decide to date.
"Why should I date?" you might ask yourself. "I'm perfectly content to lust after the guy who sits in front of me in Physics class." Well, crushes don't get you far if you don't act upon them, and based on personal experience, objects of unreciprocated crushes are really good at eventually making you extremely bitter or inspiring you to write tortured love poetry.
Step 2: Select a candidate.
Now, in searching for a candidate, don't look for perfection. You just want to go on one date, not have 2.1 children and a dog named Spot together. Just pick someone you would like to get to know better, like someone you met in class, a campus organization, your dorm, etc.
Step 3: Plan the date
This should be done before you actually do the asking. When you call the person you don't want to endure awkward silences while the two of you wrack your brains for places to go in Hanover. Plus, if you have a concrete plan in mind, you are more likely to be given a concrete answer. For those of you who think there is nowhere to go on a date in Hanover, I have a few suggestions:
Any Spaulding general seating event is a great idea for a date. Eat at the Hop before going to the show. It may not be gourmet, but it alleviates the problem of figuring out who pays for the date. You just put the tickets and the meal on your ID! And if all goes well, the night is still young, so you can go somewhere and talk after. Other places I would suggest include Wednesday night a cappella concerts, the Collis game room, a Nugget movie, dinner in town, etc. There are always plenty of options beyond going to a frat party. I am not anti-Greek, I simply feel that frat basements don't really invite the kind of get-to-know-you conversation that other dating options do. And if you stay away from alcohol, you are less likely to do something embarrassing in front of your date.
Step 4: Pick up the phone
Phone? Yes, the phones at Dartmouth do work quite well. I prefer phone-asking to blitzing because it clearly communicates your intentions. If you call up someone and ask, "Would you like to go to X with me Friday night?" it shows that you want it to be a date and not just an as-friends thing. If you must use blitz, make sure that your intentions are clear. If you think your blitz might send mixed messages, ask your roommate to proofread it for you.
** Side note: Yes, this is the 1990's, so females should be doing the asking too. If any guy thinks it is bizarre for a woman to ask him out, he isn't worth it anyway!
Step 5: If your candidate says no, go back to Step 2. Repeat as necessary.
Step 6: Ok! You have an affirmative response. Go on the date. Have some fun! Even if your date is a total disaster, you will have good material for you diary, memoirs, etc. Notice: I left out the get ready for the date part because I personally feel that if someone only likes you after you spend three hours doing your hair and figuring out what to wear, they aren't worth it either.
Step 7: Follow-up
If you have a good time, blitz or call the next day and say, "gee, I had a really good time last night. Would you like to go out again?" If your date made animal noises the entire time or was otherwise unacceptable, go back to Step 2. Repeat.
Remember: we are intelligent people who have the power to change our social scene for the better. Wouldn't it be great if we can tell the '02's next year that Dartmouth has a great dating scene?
To get everyone going, I unofficially proclaim this week "Date Week." So go on, what are you waiting for?
