C Says: P, can you believe Sophomore Summer is almost over? It flew by.
P Says: I know. It seems like yesterday that I was a naive freshman looking forward to this pivotal summer of intense growth and maturity and drunken oblivion.
C Says: Did it live up to your expectations?
P Says: Well ... I was drunk. I'm just kidding, C. Of course I feel as if I have experienced personal development and soul-searching. I went skydiving, I went off the rope swing more times than I can count and I jumped off the Orford Bridge once. But I feel like I have my feet on the ground and I know where I'm going.
C Says: Really, P? I'm so behind. I didn't jump off anything this summer. I feel like I've wasted these three months now that I've heard your inspiring words. Where am I going? What am I going to do with my life? I am almost a junior now and the only semblance of stability that I can relate to my feet is that they were stuck to the Sig Ep basement two Saturday nights ago. Damn. Help me, P ... where are you going?
P Says: Whatever. I'm going to Topside because I have $350 left on my DBA. Want some gum?
C Says: Thanks for reminding me, P. I have to make a trip there myself. Yesterday I stood at the cashier desk in Food Court and paid for everyone's lunch who came between 12:00 and 1:00, and then my DBA was down to $400. Have you noticed that there aren't any more peanut butter PowerBars at Topside? I bought all 150 of them for my boyfriend. I have more bags from Topside in my room than I have hairs on my head.
P Says: And you have a lot of hair, C. By the way, what shampoo do you use? Your hair has so much body and shine.
C Says: Thanks, P, you really think so? I got it at Topside. Actually, I bought 10 of them. Want one?
P Says: Sure, thanks.
C Says: Don't mention it.
P Says: C, I feel like I'm really having a problem studying for finals. I just can't concentrate on my work. When I go to Baker and sit in the stacks at night, I can't focus.
C Says: Well, P. Everyone goes through this, don't worry. It's summer time. Your body isn't biologically programmed to study. It won't be like this in the fall.
P Says: Nothing will be the same in the fall, C. Thanks to the D plan, we won't see each other for the entire year.
C Says: Do you think people will forget about P Says/ C Says? Do you think our legend will dwindle into a foggy memory in peoples' minds? Has all of the energy and love that we put into every word of every sentence of every column been wasted, like the dollars on our DBA, because our readership will merely forget about us after a year of absence from the editorial page?
P Says: I don't know, C. I hope not. Frankly I'm more worried about breaking even on my DBA right now. Let's go to Topside. It's on me.
C Says: OK, but it's on me.
P Says: No me ...
