How I miss it. All right, that isn't really true. My television viewing, even when I'm home is limited to about two shows, but I do miss some of the fine programming that you come across while channel surfing the upper reaches of the dial. I was reminded of this fact last Thursday while with a cable-endowed friend.
We had just finished watching Seinfeld, and like many, we fled NBC as soon as The Naked Truth came on. Before we knew it, the dial had landed in the far reaches of cableland. These are the stations that have twos and threes after them: HBO2, HBO3. As if these were sequels to the original channels or something.
In any case, we landed ourselves upon ESPN2. What a fine channel. I have seen the equivalent of a snowboard demolition derby on there, and numerous other strange sporting events. As luck would have it, we happened upon the world's strongest man competition, set in the Basque region of Spain. This was entertainment such as I haven't seen in months.
The first event was the car flip. Picture a Fiat, or that car from the Mentos commercial where the construction workers lift it up and move it out of the parking spot for that girl. Well, these strongmen had to flip over three of these cars and then run to the finish line. I'm not sure what was more comical, the fact that they had to push over cars or watching them huff and puff to the finish line. It certainly was an impressive display, though I must confess I don't really know what practical purpose such an ability would serve in everyday life. I suppose if they chose to pursue a living as a professional rioter, it would be useful, but other than that it probably wouldn't be much good. I think the most likely result would be that everyone avoids you.
After our initial laughter at this first event wore off, we settled in to watch the rest of these impressive contests. The stone lift was pretty impressive. In this event, their objective was to lift a large boulder onto their shoulder ... repeatedly, to the point of exhaustion. One of the funniest aspects of this event was one of the trainers. He was sporting a kilt, a tee-shirt and no shoes, and was screaming encouragement at one of the contestants. He was also nice enough to offer an encouraging slap on the face before the contest began. Unfortunately for the trainer, two contestants competed at one time on the stage. So while he was concentrating on his screaming, the other competitor threw down the boulder to the mat, and it promptly rolled over the kilted one's foot. He continued screaming through the rest of the event, but they were no longer words of encouragement.
He was able to make a reappearance (with shoes this time) for the final event. This was the truck pull. Picture two Mack truck cabs lined up next to each other. The men were then harnessed to the trucks, and at the gun had to pull them one hundred meters to the finish line. Granted, there wasn't a lot of drama to the event, since you can pretty much tell who will win by the time they are half way, nonetheless it was a sight to behold. The trucks, which were normally powered by a 380 horsepower engine, did have drivers in them who braked when the contestants touched the finish line. After all, we would not want any of them getting run over.
Despite cautions such as these, there was one injury. It occurred during the race where they had to carry two engine blocks a certain distance on a bar across their shoulders. When one of the men finished, he went to throw the bar over his head to the ground. Unfortunately, he didn't quite make it over his head, and he got taken to the pavement. It was a minor head wound, and to be honest, I really don't think it hurt his chances in the contest. Judging by the commentary of these guys between events, they've had enough substances in their systems to dull their wits to the point where the most observant comment was, "That was really heavy."
Though I ridicule, I must admit that I watched the whole thing and was thoroughly entertained. Perhaps not in the manner intended, but entertained nonetheless. So I'll bite my tongue next time I'm tempted to make a comment on the trash on television. Some of the best television out there is trash.
