Wouldn't you like to know, ladies? There are certain secrets that all men share with one another. The amazing thing is that all men worldwide seem to keep these secrets quite well. No one outside this exclusive circle seems to discover these secrets or, if they do, the powerful stereotypes that exist make them ignore the evidence before them. Witness my co-columnist.
One prime example of this is the widely held belief that men don't know what women are thinking. This is not true. I feel secure in saying this only because no one will believe me. If anyone did, I'm sure I would receive more than one threatening blitz from the male population of this school. Regardless, men really do know what women are thinking. It is most of the time quite obvious. You see, we actually find it very convenient to perpetuate this myth. Playing dumb is a useful tool for getting information, and getting out of situations. It allows for a great way out of numerous love entanglements.
For example, my senior year in high school, I had a certain female acquaintance who showed notable interest in me. We aren't talking subtle here. It was blatant. But to this day, no one knows that I knew exactly what was going on the whole time. Do women honestly believe that what is so apparent to them is somehow hidden from the male viewpoint? The answer is yes. I was able to play dumb my entire senior fall until the storm blew over. Not only did I avoid dealing with the issue, but I was able to let her save face the entire time.
Men use this technique all the time. "I just don't know what you're thinking" or "How can I know unless you tell me?" Rare indeed is the Dartmouth female who has not heard these words. It's a kind of defense mechanism, really. Just a way of avoiding the issue that happens to be used so often it is taken for truth.
Surprising as this may be, such logic is not always so prevalent in male behavior. Take for example, one Dartmouth friend of mine, who, while enamored in the hunt, is never quite ready to go in for the kill. Every time he becomes interested in a girl, he goes through the usual pursuit, but when he gets to the point at which some sort of relationship would begin, he loses interest. This is usually at the point when the girl begins to show an interest in him. I don't know if he is indecisive or if he is just unable to hold an interest in anyone for more than a week.
I'm really not sure of his reasoning in this behavior, if there is any. I find his dating habits so infuriating and confusing that I refuse to talk to him on the subject anymore. I can only imagine the perplexity and frustration of the girls he is going after. His interest changes from week to week and he has yet to hold a relationship for more than a month or so. It seems that his relationships are not what you would call constructive, even when they are more than just a passing fancy.
This could explain his militant view of Valentine's Day. When the subject was brought up, he entered into a tirade on the fact that it was a Hallmark Holiday, and liberally added several other choice adjectives that cannot be printed here.
What kind of day could illicit such a response from an ordinarily tame, mild-mannered individual? Only a day centered around the most volatile of human emotions could present such an extreme response. Some girls I have talked to swoon at the very thought of Feb. 14th. Others have pledged to wear black all day. The girls on my hall are planning to make dinner together and watch "Thelma & Louise."
I have yet to make plans and, even if that special someone doesn't make the trip from Middlebury, I am sure mourning with a pint of Ben & Jerry's will not be an option. After all, even when you don't have someone to share it with, being bitter on a holiday focused on love will only make things worse.
